Uncle Mike sir, I need your perspective on this and I do want you to be honestly straight with me where I have done wrong. I am 35 years and so is my boyfriend. We have been dating since the past two years and each time I bring up the issue of marriage, he tells me that he doesnt make enough money yet to marry me and that I should be patient. Uncle I have been patient since two years now even when I have suitors coming to ask my hand in marriage. I usually turn them down but there is this one who just returned from the Japan in April and he has been disturbing me. I have to admit that I have accepted on two occasions to have lunch with him, but thats all there is to it. No kissing or touching. In fact, he has opened my eyes to a lot of things when I told him about my relationship with my boyfriend. You see, my boyfriend works in a Chinese company in Lagos and makes about 70k while I am paid about 200k where I work. Some of my friends have told me that the guy is a gold digger because its obvious that I pay most of the bills in the house including rent and he seems to make no effort to get a better job despite that he has a 2:1 in Mathematics and this guy who lives in Japan has even confirmed that the guy is a gold digger who will abandon me the moment he finds a better job. I am scared Sir, do you think I should wait for him because age is no longer on my side. Thanks. Note: sir please share on your wall and let me read the comments. Response: My dear, you didnt have to request that I should be honestly straight with you because I am certainly going to be either brutally honest with you or I would not respond. First, to the extent that you have gone out a few times with our New Japanese guy, you may have to start learning Japanese because I am certain that your boyfriend does not know any Japanese, not to talk of him being aware of your lunch dates and that you are already discussing him with your new friend. Technically my dear, the reality is that you now have two boyfriends and you dont know which to choose- if to remain in Lagos and pursue your career, get married and settle down with a combined family salary of 270k a month or to start learning Japanese and prepare for a new life abroad in Tokyo, I guess. Be that as it may, let me address two important issues in your message. 1, whenever you have an admirer who talks down on your past or present relationship to create the impression that they are better, thats a red light because its going to be a rough journey for you. Such people have very low self esteem, less in self trust and always thinking that everyone has to be down for them to think that their knee level height actually makes them taller than everyone else. Stay away from such people for your own good. 2, the issue of gold digging has been over flogged by so many ignorant people. Now, calm down and read carefully. In gold mining standard, even as far back as the 13th Century, 200k which is just about $1200 could never have been enough to purchase a gold mine. What am I talking about? In truth, some of these people that call their girlfriends or boy friends gold diggers are wrong because first, gold digging automatically means the existence of a gold mine somewhere; and we all know what a gold mine means. Therefore, for a man or a woman to label another a gold digger while they dont own a gold mine is fraudulent on their part in the first instance. The phrase is overused, abused and inapplicable in so many cases. Even good miners are paid well beyond what you are paid. With your salary of 200k your friends and the Afro- Japanese guy should have rightly labelled your boyfriend either a bronze digger, Stone or copper digger, or even a sand digger, because sand diggers anywhere in Nigeria make just about 180k a month on average; if you owned a truck you make 450k. I think you see? You need to be a millionaire, with no debt to the bank, no handout from parents to come close to referring to anyone as a gold digger. If your boyfriend gets to know that your friends see him as a gold digger he might be confused and think he must be in the wrong Mining Site. In fact, I consider it a spiritual insult that might affect his confidence because his babe is claiming to own a good mine while he slaves for the Chinese at 70k with a 2:1 degree. Your boyfriend is a victim of Nigerias harsh economic and unemployment reality aided by poor leadership- support him. Do not because of the present reality become relevantly impatient and foolish. By the right encouragement, he may just discover who he is and take his own destiny in his own hands. Let him understand that his 6 months savings can do a traditional wedding and that court wedding is just about 15k; there are wedding gowns for 70k- his one month sweat for your special day- why not. As for making money and leaving you, there is noting you can do to stop that reality if it ever comes. The best you can do for now, is to keep loving him and maybe tell him about the Japanese guy. But if you thought that the Japanese guy is the person to save you time, then my dear, kouun wo inorimasu which means I wish you a good luck. God bless. (MIU, August, 2014).
Posted on: Mon, 25 Aug 2014 09:57:24 +0000
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