Uncommon Wisdom for Men by Jim Chambers, EdD - 01/26/2014 It’s All Your Fault If there is one thing you learn after 40 years of marriage it is that whatever happens in the world it is a man’s fault. My advice is to believe it, accept it and move on. It doesn’t matter if it is a common cold, flat tire on the highway, delayed flight at the airport, reckless driver on the highway, or the price of gas in Papua New Guinea, you are at fault. Don’t try to rationalize it. Don’t appeal to facts. Don’t offer excuses. And please, please don’t try to explain that you had absolutely nothing to do with it because it doesn’t matter. You’re a man, and youre responsible. A good example of this occurred a few evening ago when my wife and I were rummaging around the kitchen looking for dinner ideas. Opening an upper cabinet, a box of mashed potato flakes suddenly transformed our kitchen into a winter wonderland. I would have belted out a chorus of “Jingle Bells” if it hadn’t been for the following exchange: Woman: What did YOU do? Man: Nothing. Someone sit a box of mashed potato flakes in the cabinet upside down. Woman: You must have done SOMETHING or there wouldn’t be potato flakes all over the kitchen. Man: Are you blaming me? I just picked up a box that someone put in upside down. Who does that? Woman: Well, there are only two people living here and I would never do something that dumb. Man: Seriously? You think I deliberately put a box of potato flakes upside down in the cabinet so it would make a mess all over the kitchen that I have to now clean up. Woman: Who else would so something like that? Now when this first started happening, a little over 40 years ago to be exact, I was totally confused. It didn’t seem plausible that anyone in their right mind (the key here) could possibly believe that a loving and caring husband could possibly be responsible for every household accident. Later I learned that this is just level one. On a broader scale, I’m also responsible for local government corruption, national poverty, the inequality of women, global catastrophes and crazy people in general. Right about the time I begin to understand the scope of the situation we decided to have children. If nothing else, I thought, at least one of these beautiful people will grow up smart enough to see through this insanity and defend their old man against absurd allegations. If my biggest mistake was trying to defend myself against such nonsense, this was certainly a close second. Rather than coming to my rescue, these two aliens from the underworld quickly learned to manipulate the situation. As soon as they became old enough to see what was happening, they notified me that if I didn’t pay them off big time they would hang me out to dry. Now, in addition to being blamed for everything under the sun, I was now being shaken down by two adolescent capitalists who viewed my vulnerable position as a fast-track to financial independence. Bottom line gentleman – It’s your fault. It doesn’t matter what it is, when it happened, or where you were at the time - you are to blame. Believe it, accept it and move on. Not to do so will only result in a deeper hole, of which you are also responsible.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 18:59:54 +0000
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