Up early running errands and spent my alone time in self-reflection. This past 5-6 months, for me, has truly been about self discovery and exploration. I know so many women who completely define themselves as mothers and what Ive realized, now that my oldest son is out of the house, is that motherhood cannot be all encompassing of who you are. You must always be a woman first and all other roles you come to assume throughout your lifetime should be beautiful additions to your womanhood. IF you only define yourself as a mom, when your kids leave home, what then are you left with? Motherhood is a role and although your role as a mom never ends, it changes and it changes drastically when the children are no longer in your presence. At the end of the day...what is it all about? We have the kids...raise them...and then they are supposed to LEAVE. They are not supposed to be dependent on us forever. True love liberates and allows you to let go. Love doesnt hold or enable. So many women get lost in motherhood and I think its a safe move...to hide in the shadows of playing mom because then you dont ever have to muster up the courage to step outside of that role. As my mom told me, I would never, ever place the burden of needing my kids around 100% of the time on them, in order for me to be happy. What a daunting task for a child to have. As a woman and as a mom, if you arent happy outside of your children, I SO urge you to find yourself NOW. Explore your identity, your passions, your interests now because once they leave, you have to be able to stand alone and stand alone in happiness. On days like these, sure I miss Toma but that thought is always followed with thoughts of gratitude and relief that he is on his own path leading to self sufficiency and independence and I feel immense pride that as a mom, Ive done a good job in helping him get there. And only then, knowing that, can I continue to focus on me and my own lifes work. Life is too short to settle, to be unhappy, and to wander around aimlessly not knowing who the hell you are. My fellow mothers...DARE to explore YOU!
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 17:18:43 +0000
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