Update #7: Operation New Kidney (Why?) Lisa continues to make good progress. She traded that awkward hospital gown in for a shower and some pajamas and has spent the greater part of this day sitting up in a chair by her bed. Before dinner we got in a little exercise by making a couple of laps around the 11th floor. I walked along beside her and pushed the IV thingy. (Whatever its called.) We are scheduled to go home Sunday afternoon and rumor has it that theres a chance she could possibly be discharged tomorrow. IS THAT COOL OR WHAT? Ive been posting these updates to keep you, our friends and family, informed. Thank you for all the love youve reciprocated and prayer youve offered. And also, if youve not figured it out...these updates have also served as my therapy. Ive yet to make it through a single post without tears on my cheeks and a lump in my throat. And with that confession I need to come clean and open a window to my soul and let you in on a secret. During this process Ive come before God and asked--WHY? I hope youre not disappointed. Lisa has Polycystic Kidney Disease which explains the kidney failure, but the strange thing is...the disease is inherited. They tell us that its something you are born with and you picked it up from a parent or grandparent. I understand the genetics, but the crazy thing is... we cant find anyone in her family history who has ever suffered with this sickness. When I brought that info to the specialist a few months ago...her answer floored me: Well Lisa, unfortunately a gene mutated and for your family it begins with you. I was blown away by that fact and in my grief questioned God. I wanted to know why this fell on her. You see, Ive spent the last 30 years walking through the stuff this world throws at people and mourned with those who mourn, but this time the table was turned and I was having to play the hand weve been dealt. I looked to the scripture and found David questioned the providence of God in the Psalms. We call them laments. He once asked, How long will you forget us oh God, forever? Job also found reason to question...he even said, That which I fear has come upon me. (Job 3:25) He spoke of the silence of God and in so many words confessed, I have looked around and dont see Him anywhere. His was called John the Baptist and he questioned Jesus from a prison cell when he sent two men asking, Are you the one, or should we look for another. In my devotions the scriptures seemed to be telling me that though I was hurting and confused, I was also in pretty good company and with that I began looking through another lens. I saw that while David lamented he also wrote the most quoted poem in the history of the written word. We call it the 23 psalm. And while John the Baptist questioned Jesus, Jesus wasted no time in complimenting John by saying, ...no one born of woman was greater than John... Then I looked once again to Job and learned though he questioned God...at the end of the day he looked beyond the loss he made that epic statement, Though He slay me, yet will I serve Him In fact...in the end...it wasnt that he got another family, and more assets, but rather, he was once again aware of the presence of God. Then, suddenly the questions went away. AND FOR ME: Its not a question of love, or justice. He has forever settled those issues on a Hill called Calvary. Its no longer about, Why? He is God and wrapped in a mystery we will never understand, nor fully comprehend. He will not, and can not, be placed on trail. So for me, its no longer about why. Its more about how, and the question is, how shall I respond? In the process Ive learned: If John was confused, if David questioned , and if Job walk through a silent period, it stands to reason in this life Im going to walk through some stuff. And though I may not understand His ways...I can trust His heart. And, even in the darkest of days, He can, He will, and He must remain the highest object of my affection. Blessings, - Cam
Posted on: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 05:01:52 +0000
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