Update: I have felt really bad the last three to four days, to the point of a tearful breakdown more than once and to the point of backing away from this fight I have been in since September 7, 2011 for my life. It has happened a few times during this journey when my mind can no longer overcome the pain and nausea; the feelings of loneliness and helplessness; and I just do not have the energy or stamina to pull myself out of the depths of this living hell. During these times the one thing that has saved me each time has been my heart and my heart grows stronger and stronger as each day passes. God blessed me with a strong heart that refuses to lose to this cancer even as it tries to take over every part of me. My God powered and strong heart has once again pulled me from the grasp of this disease and between it and God; the train has been set upright and back up on the tracks. Far too many times in a battle like this when heart is lost the war is lost. I am thankful God gives mine the strength to endure and overcome because without His strength and power, I only would be an exiting shell of a man who has no promise of tomorrow. I have learned some valuable things in this battle and the first significant things is to allow God to fully control the outcome of my inner being and health as this is something I cannot control. The second is use the strength and power; endurance and perseverance; and fight-a-tude and fortitude the Lord has given me to physically take on this challenge from cancer and physically take the fight to it. This is a new moment in this journey and it will begin with me getting back to physically doing those things I know cancer has difficulty in, in trying to take me out. The first thing I will do is begin hitting the gym hard again. I cannot push through if I do not physically have the strength to do so. I have let this stray from me. I also cannot tell others to “get up and get that body moving” if I am not setting the example of that getting up and doing so. The kryptonite has plagued me for far too long now. It is time to knock it into dust! The third thing I will do is get back to eating what I know I should eat. In January 2014, I was leg pressing 600+ pounds; curling 50 pound dumbbells in each hand and bench pressing 225 pounds regularly. I was able to pass the military fitness exam for an 18 year old to include the run. However, since this terminal stage 4 lung cancer hit me in January; I now have trouble lifting a 10 pound sack of flour and even walking across the yard. Today – ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Take it from me, if you allow a terminal illness or some other debilitating thing take all of you (to include your quality of life); it will take it and destroy it in a heartbeat unless you jump back in its face and punch it in the teeth with a superman punch all the while smiling as it comes at you each time. I control the outcome here! If you want to control it, all I can say is: “COME GET IT – LET’S JUST SEE IF YOU REALLY WANT WHAT I AM SENDING BACK WITH YOU!” As my fight gear (Limp Back MMA Fight Gear) motto states, “You’re Walking Over – but you’re limping back if I have anything to say about it!” Never Back Down 2 Cancer and Get on It! Dont give it a chance to breathe!
Posted on: Mon, 21 Jul 2014 06:28:51 +0000
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