Update.. Thanks for the calls and texts. I decided to write an update because i’m so emotionally drained I just want to focus on playing with Gabriel and enjoying our last week together until I see him again in January. My mom called frustrated that I don’t feel like talking because I’m not up for it so here is the update so don’t explain the story over and over and miss time with Gabriel.. No… I don’t have any test results for my biopsy. The results are IN… I see that in the computer MyChart system but they don’t post the results and my doctor hasn’t contacted me about them. That can be good or bad. Sometimes they wait until you have an in person meeting to explain results. I have a scheduled meeting Friday at 3pm and will find out then. I do know another doctor who is basically the checks and balances guy… wants an additional CT scan to check out my lungs again. That will happen Monday. He did request an additional blood culture to make sure I don’t have any infections. I did that today. But today has been hectic and exhausting to say the least… with much of it being a wasted and LONG drive to Johns Hopkins at5am. We got up at 4am… and Cesar started the process to start my IV antibiotics so it could run while we drove to the hospital. Since the weather was expected to be bad Cesar decided to drive me instead of just me and my dad going alone so we ALL got in the car…we woke Gabriel up, put him in his car seat and all drove to the hospital. I had my blood drawn and then they told me I was NOT supposed to take my antibiotics this morning because the blood draw was a level check and taking the dose close to the draw affects the level. So guess what.. the trip was a waste. Now I have to go back early Friday again for the same thing. More time away from Gabriel. Poor Cesar drove us round trip for my mistake then went to work and poor Gabriel rode 4 hours round trip in a car seat which I hate he had to do. CESAR —IS ONE AMAZING HUSBAND AND THERE IS NO ONE LIKE HIM!! CESAR— I LOVE YOU!!! I’m sorry if i sound cranky but to me every hour doing something other than spending time with Gabriel gets me mad. No one realizes the toll treating cancer takes on an entire family and when you factor in driving back and forth… it just wipes you out. I’m tired of driving back and forth.. tired of waiting for test results… tired of cancer.. but I’M READY TO FIGHT AGAIN. Its just like running back to back to back marathons and each time you run through the finish line you run through the start of yet ANOTHER freakin race. I have no regrets choosing Hopkins. It’s a drive and so well worth the experience. At one point we almost chose MD Anderson because of all my support system in Texas but I can’t imagine how we would have juggled commuting and a baby and Cesar’s job. These are things you don’t think about in the panic of a diagnosis. We made the right decision… but I look back and remember when I was diagnosed…. “Ok… so I go in… they treat me and cure me and I go home. “ Not so fast...Then after the initial 40 days of boot camp as I call it… they said oh you will be doing this ALL of 2014...” We have been doing this crazy commute in addition to my 30-40 day stays for 10 months now. I can’t imagine how taxing it is on others who live further away. It’s exhausting but we make it work. We have a system. Cesar goes home and checks the mail weekly. He brings me the bills. I pay them on-line (it makes me feel in control of something…kinda), I cry for Gabriel, then I get strong.. then I walk the hospital halls… meet with more doctors, wait for more answers then wash, rinse, repeat. 2 points of my post: To you or anyone affected by cancer down the road -know it can be a LONG journey. Sorry If I don’t take calls or want any visits… I just need alone time with my nugget but know how blessed I feel you are all checking on me. I love you guys. #ArmorUp xoxo
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 17:22:01 +0000
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