VIRUS WARNING Please read all of this message immediately! If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of Badtimes, delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous Email virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerators coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when theres company coming over. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic. Badtimes will make you fall in love with an ex-convict. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will remove the tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole. It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. Such is the power of Badtimes. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs! Be very, very afraid.
Posted on: Sun, 23 Nov 2014 07:15:47 +0000
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