Vanity: About 4 years ago I was 216 pounds. I had my hair chopped short, hated clothes shopping and was grateful that everyone said I had a great heart cuz that was about the only thing that ever made me feel beautiful. After a series of painful events in my life I lost some weight due to stress. I liked how losing weight felt so I decided to start exercising and eating better. And the weight came off! I began to feel and look different. And one of the most accomplished days of my life was the summer that I did not have to shop in the plus size clothing section anymore. I was really getting somewhere! I was at the gym all the time! I began getting my nails and hair done more often and started getting alot more attention and compliments. And it was so different! A whole new world where I wasnt the fat girl anymore. Could I maybe be the pretty girl sometimes? Was it possible? The more weight I lost, the more I wanted to lose. The more makeup I tried, the more unsatisfied I became with my natural self. Now getting my hair and nails did was mandatory and not a treat. If I did not have my hair fresh, nails done, clothes new and fake eyelashes on, I was not presentable. Before I lost the weight I could show up somewhere in sweats and a bun and be comfortable. Why was it that the more I improved my outer appearance, the more unsatisfied I became with myself. Ill tell you why, because the flesh is NEVER satisfied. And we can spend forever trying to attain what this world calls beauty, but that is always changing and never quite reachable. Even the women who are considered the most beautiful in the world are plagued with pressure and insecurities that drive them to mental torment. Vanity is so unhealthy to feed. Because the more you feed it, the hungrier and more demanding it becomes. Gods taking me on a journey to learn how to overcome many insecurities that cause vanity and self idolatry. You know, when a woman is constantly looking in the mirror, its not usually because she thinks shes all that, its usually the very opposite. Lord, teach us (your daughters) how to find our beauty in you.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 08:12:27 +0000