Via paulj After spending several hours yesterday evening searching the internet for rumored tour dates and prematurely posted LiveNation ticket pages, I just couldnt sleep. I left The Timber Ho in bed, and wandered down to the local honky tonk for a beer. It was late, the place was pretty much empty, and a low cloud of smoke still hung in the room. Lucinda Williams poured from the jukebox. I went to the bar, sitting a couple of stools away from a long-haired guy who looked much older than his years. He’d obviously been chain-smoking while sipping what must have been the latest in a long series of Lone Star tall boys. Perhaps the weirdest thing was the set of five, vaguely anthropomorphic, miniature aluminum sculptures arrayed on the bar in front of him. I ordered my beer, and proceeded to tell the barkeep my tale of summer tour announcement woes. After a while, the guy next to me piped up. “Summer tour dates? You and you online friends are waiting for summer tour dates? Shiiit. “Let me tell you, you and your friends have been waiting a long time, and you will continue to wait as you share your internet rumors, your tour innuendo, allowing yourselves to be hyped into frenzied anticipation. Certain linguistic anthropologists theorize that language is a virus, burrowing into the collective consciousness to influence your decisions, to manipulate your mind until you—and the collective—no longer have control. You become paralyzed, and cannot even make simple summer plans due to the expectation of some future event that may or may not occur. “You need to understand that time is a flat circle, my friend. You’ve been waiting for summer tour before, and you’ll wait for it again. And again. And again. You need to start asking yourself the right f***ing question, man. It’s not, ‘When will summer tour dates drop?”. Instead, it’s, ‘Have summer tour dates ever dropped?” And with that he drained his beer, stubbed out his butt, and walked away.
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 15:09:34 +0000
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