Victory Joe! Words that my father, along with many cheerful and tearful members of the crowd, would yell at American soldiers during World War II symbolizing their appreciation to the HEROES and the HOPE that they brought. And time and time again, they worked hand and hand with the Filipino people to PROTECT FREEDOM and SAVE LIVES during times of WAR and NATURAL DISASTERS. My dad was always happy to see a soldier and he was even more delighted when I married Dawn. But war is not like a Hollywood blockbuster. A soldier is not an action hero. Outside the statistics and the news-worthy portrayals, there are deeply personal issues that most of us don’t see. And 9/11 truly transformed us. Being a stay-home father is the easy part. Not being able to share the special holidays, milestones, and the daily joys of life and not having the support you needed when you needed it were the hard part. And I couldn’t imagine how especially hard it was for my wife to leave her children whom she, just months ago, were carrying in her womb for nine months. Combine all of them with separation anxiety and the terrors of war, life for us was like a bad dream during, and even years after, the deployment of my wife. Truly, a big part of me went with her when she left. Having sickly children was not helpful, I thought. I never really did get a chance to rest and take care of myself. Then again, they didnt give me a chance to worry about me either. In the end, with the difficulties we had in our relationship during and after, I realized that it was my sons who reminded us what a family is really about. They are the ones who saved us. Here are video clips that I made to keep my wife connected with our lives back home and to help me keep my sanity. Here is a glimpse of that period. The first part of the video was filmed on Mother’s Day 2005, the video shows a mothers farewell as she returns to the Middle East after a brief R&R with her family. Note the only time Elijah refused to give his mother a kiss—a goodbye kiss; for the last time we said goodbye, our lives became engulfed with loneliness, anxieties, anger, and nightmares for my children. The stress of military life made us very vulnerable. Feelings of sadness, helplessness, and fear quickly changed to anger and rage. These dark period almost broke us many times. But in the end, it is true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And our relationship has indeed grown. So again I say, “VICTORY, JOE! VICTORY, JANE!”
Posted on: Mon, 10 Nov 2014 16:31:30 +0000
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