Vonnegut is hilarious. And what methods did Augustus Caesar use to put this disorderly house in order? He did what we are so often told we must never, ever do, what we are told will never, ever work: he wrote morals into law, and he enforced those unenforcable laws with a police force that was cruel and unsmiling. He made it illegal for a Roman to behave like a pig. Do you hear me? It became illegal! And Romans caught acting like pigs were strung up by their thumbs, thrown down wells, fed to lions, and given other experiences that might impress them with the desirability of being more decent and reliable than they were. Did it work? You bet your boots it did! Pigs miraculously disappeared! And what do we call the period that followed this now-unthinkable oppression? Nothing more nor less, friends and neighbors, than The Golden Age of Rome. --- Am I suggesting that we follow this gory example? Of course I am. Scarcely a day has passed during which I have not said in one way or another: Let us force Americans to be as good as they should be. Am I in favor of feeding labor crooks to lions? Well, to give those who get such satisfaction from imagining that I am covered with primordial scales a little twinge of pleasure, let me say, Yes. Absolutely. This afternoon, if it can be arranged. -God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, by Kurt Vonnegut
Posted on: Sun, 06 Jul 2014 17:51:12 +0000
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