WAR HERO ATTACKED BY MUSLIM SHED A British war hero is in hospital tonight fighting for his life after being viciously attacked in broad daylight by an extremist Muslim shed. Lance Corporal Kevin Bombdodger, who served with the paratroopers in Iraq and Afghanistan, was confronted by the Muslim shed as he walked down his local high street in Bradford. Eye-witnesses were horrified as the shed (believed to be a radicalised wanelap 6x8 in beech) attacked the British war hero and knocked him to the ground. It was awful, said one witness, Dwayne Racist, 34, speaking through a skinny roll-up and rotten teeth. I saw this British war hero walking down the street when suddenly this Muslim shed ran out of some garden and started battering him. I thought of running over to help, but it might just of been hallucinations cos I hadnt had me meth for two days. The shed, which hadnt been creosoted and had a window missing, then ran off shouting Muslim slogans. The sheds owner, Mr Mustapha All Iotment, said afterwards that he was shocked by its behaviour and vowed to teach it a lesson when he found out where it had gone. Ive been keeping my eye on that shed, he said, and of late its been getting more and more radicalised by Muslim shed extremists in the area. Anyway, its got all me decorating stuff in there, and some plant pots I was going to use. In the wake of this attack, the public and government alike were quick to condemn it in the strongest terms. Deputy PM Nick Clegg, the little shit, said: We are all horrified by this latest attack by a Muslim shed on one of our glorious war heroes. When a soldier cant walk down the street without being viciously set upon by a radicalised extremist outbuilding of some description, then theres got to be something wrong. Meanwhile Nigel Fartage, leader of the UKiP Party, was even more angered. Speaking to a rally of mindless cretins, he said: This is why Britain needs to act, and act now. Today its Muslim sheds, tomorrow...who knows? Hindu greenhouses? Jewish lean-tos, or even the horror of Afro-Caribbean them little tool-store efforts. Its the thin end of the wedge. Leader of the EDL Party, John Bull Britton-Furst, called for even more drastic action. Its time we rooted out all sheds and similar garden outbuildings and sent them back where they come from. Sheds were once the pride of every Englishman, and yet these bastards come over here, radicalise them and get them to create disorder in our back yards. A spokesman for B&Q, the company which supplied the shed, said that it wasnt their fault that one of their sheds had gone Muslim and attacked an upstanding British war hero. We make every effort to ensure that all our sheds, outhouses, greenhouses and even dog kennels are constructed of the finest British wood, and to be honest you dont get many Pakis buying the cunts. An expert in sheds and their place in modern religious society, Professor Arthur Jackson of the National Institute of Sheds, Sheds and Even More Sheds, said that the current problem lay chiefly in the fact that nobody cares about sheds no more. In another separate development, a video was released of a journalist having his shed removed by a Jihadist wielding a big knife, sledgehammer and an axe. The video clearly showed a journalist with his shed, and then showed him with no shed, having been cruelly beshedded.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 21:04:26 +0000
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