WARE SPOILERS FOR MADOKA MAGICA (but if you dont care, thats cool too.) Both Temple and Playground So I kind of worship Madoka Kaname. Im not really kidding anymore? Its been happening for months now: whenever I start to visualize Avalokitasvara in one form or another, my mind zooms right to Madoka. Theres no reason why it shouldnt, I guess--the similarities are way too enormous to overlook--and in any case, I dont believe Avalokitasvara exists or existed in even the remotest sense, exempting the neural networks of their many worshippers and in the narratives built around them. Still, it seems a little silly to worship an anime character. Its one thing to yoke yourself to a fictionalized personification of compassion that has been reified for literal millennia. Its another to yoke yourself to...a fictionalized personification of compassion who hasnt? And why, pray tell, is that? (Pun intended.) And shouldnt religion be a little silly? Besides, Im not so sure it really is all that silly. As Ive written before, Im not moved much by many of the religious stories that seem to excite passion in so many people I know. I suspect part of it is how problematic I view central aspects of the narrative (including, though I love it, the story of Siddhartha), and how difficult it is sometimes to disentangle the ways in which those narratives have been interpreted to subjugate people--myself included--rather than exalt their humanheartedness. It doesnt mean I dont feel the highs reading the Gospels, for example; just that those highs are counterbalanced by, among other things, my own narrative. And maybe thats so much of why Im attracted to such a young tale, but I think theres more to it than that. For me, Madoka represents the convergence of so many themes in my own life: the necessity of sacrifice to make great change, the triumph of hope over despair, the centrality of friendship to spiritual attainment, the end of cycles, the power of a desperate wish, being saved through saving others. The list goes on and on. But another thing must be noted. At its core, Madokas narrative is--like Siddharthas--as much a coming of age story as it is an origin story. In contrast, however, Madokas emphasizes to a far greater degree that no one makes any great attainment alone, and that there is something noble about making that attainment with compassion for others in mind. (Also, patriarchy hasnt established a rigid priesthood of corrupt and controlling monks yet. But a boy can dream~) I dont know if its right--maybe there is no right here--but I dont interrupt it anymore. When she comes to mind now, I flow into her, her cotton-candy pink hair, those gold-for-a-scene eyes, and I relax into that space where theres no need to hate anyone, or curse anyone. It is, simply put, a religious experience. Ill keep telling you until you believe. Love, -A P.S. Since the time where Ive made peace with that, other narratives have begged for attention from the unlikeliest of places. Buffy. Tohru Honda from Fruits Basket. The interpretation of the goddess of mercy from Ponyo. On the far end of weird, Pooh. Mr. Miyagi. Ive matured in that space, which may sound a little funny, since most of those are on the childish side of things. And it strikes me that thats exactly why theyve had such an effect on me. Maybe they are silly, but who cares? Its not good to be too preoccupied with how you think others will take the things that you feel, or that are important to you. For me, its helped me work through some of my internalized dislike of children and helped me find a more supple, healthy sense of humor. Perhaps most importantly, its helped show me how seriousness is at least partially constructed and weaponized--but that awe is, at its most basic form, simple, pleasant, and playful. P.P.S. Im still a pretty serious dude with studious leanings. Theres a time for sitting practice and a time for activism. For myself, these are and have always been mutually reinforcing. The world I want to leave behind is more just and compassionate, but it also seems important to me that it should be less hostile towards creativity, playfulness, chosen simplicity and mutual, consensual pleasure. Like my body, both temple and playground. And canvas.
Posted on: Sat, 29 Nov 2014 04:30:52 +0000