WARNING!!! Very long...read it or not :-) Why do I believe in God? Because I am changed, no I didnt change on my own, I had a horrible past and I started searching, studying, reading, and I didnt get it right most of the time, some things left me worse off then I was...I thought I had it right once, and I tried to live by what I had learned, but for years, something kept gnawing at me, I would go to this church and come home and feel worse than ever. I left that church and I left what I thought was God. Do I think it is a coincedence that I live next door to who now is my Pastor (for 23 years) and next to the church that I have attended for the past 19 years. No I dont. Pastor Paul and Cathy moved in their house in September 1991, I moved in with my boyfriend in October 1991. I didnt even want to know the Pastor. I had 3 children and a boyfriend that I was so happy with. I didnt need God. But guess what...I still wasnt filled. I had an emptyness that I couldnt fulfill. I looked in all the wrong places...started gambling, fighting with my boyfriend who was now my husband, I was a miserable person. How was I gonna find what I was searching for. The church next door was having a womens get together and Cathy had invited me. Cathy and I had both gotten pregnant at the same time and we kind of connected through that so I agreed to go with her. I liked it and over the next several years I started to learn about God I went to bible studies and things started connecting and making sense. I had never understood so much, I kept reading, learning, soaking it all in. How was it possible that all this made so much sense...how could this hole in me be starting to fill up. I remember the night it all finally clicked, I was at Paul and Cathys house at 2am and it was like BAM!!!! I prayed with them and realized that Jesus really is the ONE that came to die for ALL my sins. I have still had struggles, lots of them...God has told us the path will not be easy, in fact He has told us it will be DIFFICULT, but to trust in Him. And you know what, I have, I could not have gotten through my husbands death, my granddaughters health problems, and many many other things without GOD. I am changed, I am filled, I am living for my eternity and not my bodily self. When my husband was dying, men from the church would come over to pray over him and ask for full healing, and Steve would say, dont pray for healing for me, I will be healed when I die, pray for my family that they never lose hope. Steve had it right, we all die, he knew he was going to be with the Lord, he wasnt afraid. I am changed and it has nothing to do with it being a placebo, or thinking myself into a happier life. It has to do with God and the Lord Jesus Christ filling the holes in me that I could not do, giving me the peace that I have never felt before because it is not a man-made peace it is a God peace that only He can give. Study, learn, find the connection, it is there, be open minded, pray, yes pray, and search with your heart. You will find it. He promises.
Posted on: Tue, 21 Oct 2014 16:46:10 +0000
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