WE WARRIORS EMBRACE THE NEW YEAR!! The girls and I hope your holiday celebrations were beautiful and you made memories (and took a zillion photos) to last a lifetime. We marked our days in a totally different way, in warm weather, so not to compare our past Norman Rockwell holidays with our new reality. It worked and there was a lot of healing amongst us three. Mattie turned 12, Indy 14, and I am embracing 44. For me it was not getting older that made me sad, it was that for the first time in twenty years he would not wish me a happy birthday. I have a notorious sweet tooth and love all things gummi (frogs, bears, sharks, worms, I am shameless) so one year across our entire kitchen floor he had spelled out HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANA in Swedish fish (these being my absolute favorite since childhood). Another year after having the girls and both of us being so crazy busy with work, young children, Christmas approaching and the muck of life I did not get much of a birthday since it fell to me to plan these things so instead I threw a mini pity party for myself. I am a little embarrassed to tell you all I was probably crying when I told him how sad it felt to be the only one in our family not to have my birthday celebrated but his reaction was so extraordinary Ill own it. His caramel colored eyes got so serious and sad and he said,Oh Dana that is (expletive) awful! I am so sorry!, I pouted and went to bed but do you know the next day my dining room had over a hundred pink, yellow, purple, blue, gold and silver balloons wallpapering the room and ceiling. He had hung streamers to match with Barbie banners (lol) and little girl party decorations, hats, noise makers, and the like, covering the table along with a beautiful cake that read, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANA (ONE DAY LATE) BUT NEVER AGAIN. Im sorry. That was the best birthday I ever had, even a day late. Every year after that one he planned and made lovely without fail. For me turning 44 was heart wrenching not because it lacked a celebration (the girls and my wonderful friends conspired in true Warrior fashion). It wrecked me because Ill never be this age with him. There will never be another year older I turn as his wife and as my husband he is frozen at 54. Thank goodness fifty four was a wonderful year for him! My heart overflows with gratitude that that age for Warrior was so epic!! 2015 wipes the slate clean for all of us Warriors! Whatever happened a year ago can be left there as a treasured memory, a devastating heartbreak, a lesson, a stepping stone, a seed planted, a strengthening measure, a stop on our road that made us all better. Warrior was restored to his rightful place among people he loved in 2014. My girls were witness to their father in a new light and glimpsed his magnificence as a beloved public figure not just their doting dad in 2014. I was privileged to celebrate our final wedding anniversary he planned for us in 2014 and hold his hand and talk and laugh (and sometimes fight) with him in 2014. I was the lucky girl who straightened his bow tie at Hall of Fame and wished him luck before his speech and cheered and cried as the girls walked him out in 2014. I got to tell him I was proud of him after the ceremony as we lay like little kids in bed too excited to sleep. Along with all of you warriors, Mattie, Indy, Steve and I cheered as he made his wonderful final speech on Raw and we walked beside him through the boarding area of our flight from Wrestemaina to Phoenix as fans stood and applauded him and chanted his name when we boarded the flight. With all the happiness and frenetic energy in those early morning hours leaving New Orleans it was inconceivable the girls and I would say goodbye to his physical body and kiss him a final time, hours later, in 2014. Yet we did. It will be a year ago we lost him in April so we have put more months behind us than lie ahead in reaching this anniversary. I have a different perspective these many months later as time is indeed the salve others who have grieved promised us in the early days of our loss. I realize as we stand on the precipice of this brand new shiny year there is so much to be grateful for in the old year and so much promise to embrace in this new one. It is with this fresh start and a clean slate we must all move forward and reach with all our might for our best future selves and embrace the destiny written upon our hearts. If we are on this planet, warriors, drawing breath, our work here is not done! There is so much to do in 2015, our best days stretch before us all...so lets tackle the hell out of The New Year!! Whatever passion you have shelved UN-SHELVE it! Whatever love you are withholding RELEASE IT! Whatever creativity you are hiding UNLEASH IT!! Whatever dream you have let extinguish, REIGNITE IT! Whatever belief you have let die, BELIEVE IT...FEARLESSLY BELIEVE IT...HEROICALLY BELIEVE IT.....BELIEVE... You must. ...ALWAYS BELIEVE!!!! Happy 2015 Warriors! xo Dana
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 15:51:26 +0000
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