WEAK: three weeks on a job, a week sick, and although I can remember some of what I was busy in the week before I was called up, I cannot feel it. Just a list, another set of incomplete chores.The effect of intense periods of commercial work is in this way similiar to shock treatment. I have noticed that there is pattern to my reintegration. I never, or hardly ever, pick up where the work was interrupted. So, half read books, half finished projects, stay that way, sometimes for months, because I am no longer connected to the experience by a flow of enthusiasm, anticipation, curiosity. What usually happens is that I find another place to start, another thread within the same general project. Except, this usually swings the project into another weave, so very little is ever finished as begun. I know that something has shifted (it can happen anywhere, driving, even sleeping) when my heart skips a beat , cardiac arrhythmia, the hit of fear in the stomach, a sudden spasm. This is Shakespeares Chair, again, but picked at the centre, the fulcrum, the department store elevator that has been decorated to represent a space rocket. Always been part of the mix, but never really worked on.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Oct 2013 07:49:19 +0000
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