WELCOME TO NDENDERU........................................................................................................................My former neighbors at Ruaka[mibererthi] used to call me Thuraku, not because am brutal but courtesy of my skills which is Martial arts i professionally used to eliminate pickpockets, thugs, muggers, thieves, robbers, burglars and any other ghasia. When I moved to Ndenderu, I cheekily told my new neighbors that nitamaliza watu wa ngeta hapa Ndenderu; they laughed off at me. Little did they know I meant business. By the time I left Ruaka, it was the safest estate (reads miberethi ha Mboti) in Kiambu. Courtesy of my karate expertise and in line of self-defense, I had broken at least 34 jaws and interfered with several dental formulas in Ruaka and its environs. Whenever somebody was mugged, they used to scream my name[thuraku] and I never disappointed. Watu wa ngeta feared me more than OCS Garang. It seemed that rumors about my indisputable reputation had not reached notorious Ndenderu pickpocketers. My new neighbors told me to make sure I arrive home early if I want to last with my Tecno phone longer than a week. I told them off. A man of my repute can’t and will never arrive home before 10:00pm. nie ndire nguku,,,,,,,kana atia It is a curse.... ni mugiro On monday 4th if i remember well I went to look for money, don’t ask me where, and by the time it was 11:00 PM I was loaded. I decided to walk home passing through Lane 29 hapo Chrisco. My phone has radio application, . This means I have to walk around playing music via loundspeaker . This night was not different Mike Rua was my favorite music . The thugs must have seen and heard me at a distance. As I jumped over a sewer ditch, just outside Dakika Investment house, I heard somebody shout to me to stop. I applied ignorance of the distress, but artfully turning my eyes around the bushy fence to eye the enemy. One thing I have learned about Ruaka Nndenderu thugs is that they are very disorganized. That is a secret. The idiots were four. It was fairly dark but my hawked eyes had quickly seen them. They positioned themselves around me, two in front. “Leta simu na pesa boss kama hutaki kulia”, the hugest guy ordered. My instincts now came to life and I knew I had 4 jaws to break tonight. I stood at ease, and in an event to distract their attention threw a paperbag that i was carrying down the road. One of them ran for the paperbag, in a microsecond the others turned their heads at him, giving me the opportunity I needed. I made a rotating curve, knocking the two idiots at the front with one fist on the shins. One of them fall into a hip of dumped sewage on the path. He landed on the dirt with the mouth, and I bet he swallowed few mouthfuls of the mavi in dumped pampers. The idiot who had dashed for the paperbag was an opportunist and a coward, he picked the paperbag that had pembe flour and sugar from Quickmart and ran away to his wife when he realized that they are dealing with a Kimonda. I was left with three bandits to handle, two in fact because the thin idiot was swimming on the filthy dumping ditch. I rolled my sleeves and moved to the other burglar who had fallen a few feet away. He was struggling to stand, holding his shin. I squatted, then flew like a skite, my left leg preceding. I met him on the groin as he managed to stand. The kick landed on his groin and I swear I heard the two pair of makagari crack like an egg. His tongue out, with tears trolling his face and hands holding his fractured assets [makagari]. When he finally managed to whisper something , he cursed me for ruining his future and rendering him impotent, who cares. He then faced aside, ``wooooi nindathira`` As I stood up, someone touched me from the back. I had forgotten about the fellow behind me. He placed a knife on my neck, swearing to slaughter me literally and i pretended to beg him for pardon. “Toa yote basi!” the guy was barking. “Niachilie nikutoleee ziko kwa viatu nimeficha hapo.” He let me lose. I bent down in a pretense to untie the shoe. In an ingenuous act of brilliance, I fetched a handful of soil as I bend down. “Toa haraka.” The clueless sucker was shouting. I turned up and bowed as if to hand him money, he smiled seen a full hand. In a a second, I splashed the soil on his face, rendering him partially blind. I pressed his chins together, making him hard to breath. Pulling his head by the hair, I slumped his face on my knee before giving him an elbow smash on the gut, he screamed, calling the name of his mother. A kick on the butt made him fall over, head down legs up. I then somersaulted, landing on his lifted butt. He farted twice. He tried to roll and dive away, but I took hold of his shirt at the color and told him to lead the way, shouting loudly that he has stopped stealing. We went away, as he loudly, under my instructions, condemning theft and warning other thieves. All the way he was shouting, “Tuache wizi maboys, Thuraku amehamia hapa Ndes.” I could see people (I guess fellow pickpockets) running for their dear lives as we approached the way. I neared my house and told him to go away but scream around Ndenderu for the next two hours. As I slept, I could still hear him shouting his lungs out that he will never steal again, and warning his friends that Thuraku is now in the hood.................................................GACHIE IS MY NEXT NEW HOME WE FLUSH OUT CRIMINALS TOGETHE R
Posted on: Sun, 10 Aug 2014 16:06:57 +0000
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