WHAT A HITCHCOCK KIND OF DAY! i felt like i was in a Hitchcock movie today. had a serious panic attack in the elevator looking at an apartment on Tony Blairs block. the estate agent says Lars and I can take the elevator, he will take the stairs. Lars and i get into a teeny tiny elevator were barely the two of us fit. and i press the 4th floor button. on the 4th floor the elevator doors open and theres a door in front of me LOCKED. maybe its the 3rd floor, i think ... we go to the 3rd floor and the door there is LOCKED too. i call out to the estate agent: Bijan, the door is locked. where are you? he says to go to the 4th floor. i get there and the door is still locked. im starting to panic. i try deep yoga breathing but notice the panic is escalating. Lars is cool as a cucumber. im screaming: Bijan, the door is locked. open it!!! he says to go to the ground floor. i press the 1 button. elevator doors open and the door is LOCKED THERE TOO. by now i am about to faint. im screaming for Bijan who is calling back (calmly) come to the ground floor. i see the G press it and there FINALLY THE DOORS OPEN. but now i am in full panic mode. not able to talk. shaking. crying. Lars is witnessing his mamma hysterical. i forgot G (ground floor) here is our 1st floor in America. Bijan, the estate agent had not seen the property before so he did not know the elevator goes directly in to the apartment and that the door was locked. in the midst of it, panicking; my iPhone had no service, my mind racing thinking Bijan purposely trapped us there. all the classic Hitchcock movies ran through my head. it was a horrible. horrible feeling. i am still shaken 3 hours later. Lars was calm the whole entire time and said to me it was the first time he had seen me cry. and the first time he saw me out of control. i dont know if thats a good thing or not. but it is what it is. maybe because i feel so out of control, out of my comfort zone im reacting this way. i do have claustrophobic tendencies, but this is the second panic attack/ claustrophobic feeling ive had since we came. begs me to reflect on how comfortable i really was in New York and maybe i dont react as well to change as i think i do?? anyway, safe now, but stirred and still shaken :-) will not be taking that apartment. so Tony and i will not be neighbors :-)
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 18:03:00 +0000
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