WHAT IS COMMON AMONG THESE FIVE LONG-TERM HUSBANDS WITH REASONABLY HAPPY WIVES? I begin this article on a lighter note by explaining why I prefixed HAPPY WIVES with REASONABLY. Well, every husband shall immediately agree that though we all aim for our wives to be EXTREMELY HAPPY, we soon realize that the closer we get to this ideal the further the posts mysteriously move. So, most long-term husbands have resigned to the understanding that the REASONABLY would most definitely qualify as a PASS MARK. I mean, when the professor marks your exam paper and attaches REASONABLE MARK most often it is taken as a compliment. Ha ha haaaaa HERE WE GO WITN OUR ARTICLE: I am among the six most fulfilled LONG-TERM husbands I know and it shocked me to realize what was common among us. I am not in any way suggesting there arent any other fulfilled husbands out there but I am saying: I. By Gods Grace, I am one of them, and Il. I know five others in my circles (and my circles are not that big/large; so there are definitely many others out there) I know I do not have their permission to mention their names here as I received this brainwave at 01h08 and cannot wake them up to ask, but I will nonetheless risk incurring their discipline and reproof later, as long as I have helped some young husbands in working out their marriages to Gods glory What I mean by Long-term Husbands is that they have all been married (except I at 27 years) longer than 30 years A question may arise regarding how well do I know these men to come to such a conclusion and use their lives as a study in the art of being a godly husband. Well this is briefly how I know them: 1. Montoedi Kotu who is married to Joyce, has been my brother for 51 years and is one of my two closest and best friends 2. Annanius Ralekholela who is married to Emily, is my friend and ministry travel partner (he and I still do some International assignments together) and I am a regular face around his home. 3. Amnon Chinyemba who is married to Sphiwe, is my friend and very close ministry partner as the Oversee of the AFM Harare East Province, Zimbabwe and I have constantly dined in his home in the last ten years. 4. Charles Mahlangu who is married to Deloris, is my friend, very close ministry partner, at some stage was my marriage counsellor and I have also spent some nights in his home. 5. Mutale Kalenga who is married to Leah, is my friend, fellow missionary, very close ministry partner and we have walked together since 2002 both professionally and spiritually. THESE MEN AND I COLLECTIVELY HAVE MORE THAN 200 YEARS EXPERIENCE AS HUSBANDS; SO THEIR PRINCIPLES, PHILOSOPHIES AND WAY OF LIFE CANNOT BE EASILY DISPUTED BY SOME EXPERIENTIAL HUSBAND WITH LESS THAN A DECADE IN HOLY MATRIMONY A. THEY OBVIOUSLY LOVE THEIR WIVES DEARLY A man who loves his wife HAS NO ABILITY, CAPACITY AND POTENTIAL TO HIDE IT. IF LOVE FOR HIS WIFE IS THERE, IT WILL SHOW. IF IT DOES NOT SHOW, IT IS NO THERE! B. THEY BEHAVE AS IF THEIR WIVES ARE PERFECT Though everybody else knows their wives are not ( and I guess so do they), they somehow behave as if they are and will talk about, do for and be there for them AS IF THEY DO NOT SIN AGAINST THEM AT ALL. I think it is part of love your wife as Christ loves the Church thing! C. THEY SIMPLY SERVE THEIR WIVES AT ALL COST All great husbands and fathers are servants!!! D. THEY SOMEHOW THINK THEIR WIVES ARE QUEENS They do not treat them like trash, nonentities, imbeciles and morons. These men think extremely highly of their wives! Though none of them would claim to be anyones king (except Charles, the Ndebele Prince), they somehow act as if their wives are queens; AND THEY TREAT THEM THUS E. THEY ARE NOT OBSESSED WITH GREATNESS MATTERS Christ their Master downplayed the issue of greatness both in His teachings and behaviour (look at both His teaching in Mark 10 and His act of servanthood in John 13). SO DO THESE MEN F. THEY ARE NOT CHAUVINISTIC Chauvinism can be either overt (unmasked and brash) or covert (mostly it is masked in diplomacy through insecure statements pertaining to the equality of genders, the supremacy of man over woman or even hidden in jokes that depict women as naive, dumb and inferior) G. THEY ARE COMFORTABLE WITH BEING THEIR WIVES FOOLS Let us be honest - IT SEEMS AS IF MOST OLD HUSBANDS WITH HAPPY WIVES HAVE A DEGREE OF STUPIDITY IN THEM! They simply all seem to be comfortable with being their wives fools because part of what makes a potentially good husband lousy is the know-it-all-can-do-it-without-you attitude I. THEY ARE PEACEMAKERS One of a family mans key characteristics is their obsession with family harmony,order and tranquility. The always-on-the-road man or the always-with-friends man and the womanizing mans level of commitment to family peace is minimal BECAUSE HE IS NEVER THERE ANYWAY. WE ALWAYS MAKE COMFORTABLE THE PLACES WE HAVE MADE HOME. Unfortunately many young husbands home is their CAR, OFFICE, PUB, STADIUM OR EVEN CHURCH. You will see where a mans home is by which of the two between his family home and his other home HE MAKES MOST COMFORTABLE. Even with pastors you can tell when the church looks better than his family home that the church is his real home not where he has DUMPED HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN AND ONLY GOES TO SLEEP, THAT IS IF HE IS IN TOWN (because he also never travels with his wife) J. THOUGH OBVIOUSLY NOT ALWAYS HAPPY THEY ARE DIGNIFIED IN CONFLICT RESOLUTION None of the men I mentioned above would ever dispute their wives weaknesses, errors and occasional indiscretions because they are human and have many. Besides my own marital woes from time to time, I have been there with some of these families when some conflict erupted but were held me in complete awe by the grace in which these great men would refrain from going for the proverbial JUGULAR, and the mercy by which they would choose the way of the great - gentleness, respect and humility! K. THEY DO NOT HAVE MORAL SCANDALS Scandals dishearten, discourage and disappoint spouses and a man who values, respects and esteems his wife WILL NEVER SUBJECT HER TO SHAME, EMBARRASSMENT AND HUMILIATION THROUGH SCANDALS L. THEY ARE INDISPUTABLE FAMILY MEN When a man is a family man, he will not have to announce it - EVERYBODY WILL SEE IT! M. THEY ARE NOT AFRAID OF LOSING TO THEIR WIVES Be it a difference in opinion, an argument or decision, THEY DO NOT ALWAYS INSIST ON THINGS DONE THEIR WAY N. THEY ARE VERY COMFORTABLE IN BEING AND KNOWN AS THEIR WIVES MEN NA. This shows in their speech - they are forever dropping their wives names in BITH formal and informal conversations NB. This shows in their plans - youll hardly ever catch them planning trips, missions and the future without mentioning their wives NC. This shows in their attitudes - none of them show disdain, contempt or disregard towards their wives O. THEIR WIVES DO NOT LIVE BENEATH THEIR HUSBANDs FINANCIAL MEANS OA. They do not dress shabbier than the familys financial means OB. They do not drive below the familys financial means OC. They do not generally live below the familys financial means OD. AS A MATTER OF FACT, ALL THESE MENs WIVES DRIVE EITHER THE FAMILYs ONLY CAR OR BETTER CARS THAN THEIR HUSBANDS. In case where the family had one car, I have been there with some of them several times when their wives dropped them off and went off on some spree or chores while the husband either waited or caught a lift home or to the office. I think these are men most young husbands would do well to emulate, to draw nigh to and to constantly seek counsel, help and gladly submit to their discipline. ABOVE ALL, I THINK THE PRINCIPLES SHARED ABOVE BECOME EVERY YOUNG HUSBANDs BENCHMARK, STANDARD AND GOAL Todays Meditation Ephesians 5 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 1 Peter 3 7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. John 13 12 When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. 13 “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. 14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. Mark 10 42 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44 and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” a. PLEASE PRAY FOR THESE MEN WE DISCUSSED ABOVE b. PLEASE PRAY FOR THE HUSBANDS AROUND US c. PLEASE PRAY THAT THE LORD CALLS MORE HUSBANDS INTO CHRIST-LIKE MINDEDNESS Our commitment remains: BY GODs GRACE - TOGETHER BUILDING, SAVING AND REVIVING ONE MORE FAMILY, ROMANCE AND MARRIAGE A DAY AT A TIME! PEACE
Posted on: Tue, 18 Mar 2014 00:50:30 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015