WHAT LOVE REALLY IS Love is a deep and complex matter. It transcends reason. It transcends explanation and it has often been linked to a mild form of mental insanity. For me, love is an unconditional and involuntary mental state. To truly love someone does not mean that we praise their strongest qualities while overlooking their shortcomings. It means that we love what others may perceive as shortcomings because these attributes are just as much an integral part of who a person truly is as their more applauded features. To love truly and unconditionally means that we appreciate and respect every thought, feeling, and physical appearance of a person without reservation. That doesn’t mean we don’t get frustrated, irritated, or confounded, it just means when we look back at the situation, we smile because any other action would have been inappropriate. Love must mean that we value a person for where and what they are and not what we hope they may become. There is nothing so unfortunate than to see people get married hoping that time, obligation, or manipulation may change that person into something other than they are right now. But it also means that we give the person we love the freedom to grow, blossom, and chose to become whatever they want. And the fascinating thing about this is that as they change, and we do as well, we still honor their decisions and choices without hesitation. To love someone means there is no need for forgiveness, because even when perceptions of the reason for an action are different, every dumb, inconsiderate act is just as the endearing as the act that was perfectly timed and executed. Every success and every failure are applauded equally because we had the privilege of witnessing the growth that just took place and are humbled because we were allowed to share in the experience. Love requires communication. Love means we can listen without judgment because we care, we want to understand, and we want to share in the feelings that the other person is experiencing. We want to be empathic without being sympathetic or judgmental. We just enjoy being included, to be trusted, and to be allowed to be supportive and understanding. It also means we must share and want to include the other person as much as we want to be included ourselves. We share not because we need to be understood or validated in any way, but because we want to trust someone else with all our fears, joys, doubts, and hopes. We want to include them in everything we are. When I am “in love” with someone, they are constantly on my mind. Not that I am concerned with what they are doing or who they are doing it with, but because I feel like I am in a state of exited anticipation, waiting for the next time I will see their smile, or hear their voice. When I am in love, all of my sense are heightened and I can easily recreate in my mind the way that light sparkles upon their lip, the scent of their hair, the taste of their breathe, the warmth of their hand, and the melody of their voice. It is as if my very soul is somehow not quite complete without that person in my life. When I am in love, I am more confident because I know that anything I do, succeed or fail, is insignificant compared to the joy of knowing that they are still there for me. When I am in love, I am more ambitious because I want to be able to provide for them in ways that show my gratitude for their very existence. I know that I don’t need to change, or act, or be any different than who I am because I am accepted and complete as is, but I want to be a better person just because they are there.
Posted on: Thu, 06 Mar 2014 12:10:28 +0000
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