WHEN MY WIFE DIED SHE LEFT A LOT OF BOOKS AND I CANT READ. It was a joke between us. The literature professor and the idiot, thats what she called us. Even when she was yelling it I could tell she was kidding. Thats intellectuals for you. They can be smart about so many things but they can be really dumb at love. When I was a kid I used to know this guy who was “WOW” smart. He could tell you how old the moon was without cutting it open and counting the rings. He could look at a man walking down the street and be able to accurately guess that mans middle name. He could do a Rubiks Cube behind his back while calculating some numbers to be some more numbers. He could do all this amazing stuff but he couldnt talk to girls at all. He tried to talk to this girl called Pearl once and all he could do was get out half of a “Hello” and then he had a stroke and died instantly. See what I mean? His brain could do all these whizzbang tricks and remember so many strange little facts, but when it came to trying to flirt; the whole operation running in his head just shut up shop from being overworked. Poor guy. When I was visiting my wifes grave I tried to find his too and pay my respects. Couldnt find it. Couldnt read the names on the tombstones. Couldnt find my wifes tombstone either. I just walked into the cemetary holding a bunch of fresh flowers, toured around for a bit and then walked straight out again. Any of the invisible ghosts sitting on the tombstones and on top of the crypts must have thought I was being a real tease with those flowers. “Has he come to remember me? Will he put those posies on my grave?” they were probably muttering to each other. And then they saw me walk straight out of those large iron gates with the beautiful fresh flowers still bundled in my hands. I probably should have put the flowers down on just any old grave and pretended they were my dead loved one. Its better to give one ghost some fake sorrow than upset a whole graveyard.
Posted on: Sat, 17 Jan 2015 09:29:05 +0000
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