WHO AM I????? The best thing I ever did was to get to really know myself better. To know me is to love me. I set out by dabbling on a note pad, asking myself questions like what do I want and what do I really like. This involved a lot of quiet time, sessions of meditation, going down memory lane, looking at things I had done , positive and negative and asking myself why I did them. I examined my thoughts, years and years of ingrained habits and my patterns of thinking. First I tried to list the things I really liked about myself, my strengths etc. I was quite happy because there was just so much I like about me. I liked the fact that I am easy-going, I love to laugh a lot and I find joy in the simplest things. I love my deeply artistic nature and I would call myself an old soul. There were things I clearly didn’t like about me. What I did was identify them and I made notes to work on improving on my areas of weakness. Doing this meant I was taking control over my life, so I didn’t fret too much over the negatives. Identifying what I like involved identify so many things… my favorite color, my favorite meal, most loved activities, my favorite people and what I love about them. I love a good conversation and I get on really well with people with whom I can really talk about ideas… positive-minded people from whom I can learn something new. I also used adjectives to describe myself. On my list featured words like caring, focused, determined, go-getter, self-disciplined, loving, optimistic, happy person, cultured, elegant hardworking, poised .. I was quite happy to see that there was a long list of positive adjectives I could use to describe me. Next I focused on what I really want? This is the most important question anyone can ever ask themselves. WHAT DO YOU WANT?? Identifying what I really want in every area of my life made it possible for me to focus my energy like a laser beam on my path of action towards my wants. I have always known I am a free spirit and I cannot work a regular job. So I have turned my hobby and passion into a business for myself. I also know I wanted a good life in terms of material things and I cherish most money made by myself. So I realised I needed to learn a lot about running a business to be able to get my income to the level I wanted it to be. That meant investing in textbooks towards that end. I asked what I wanted in terms of the kind of house I want to stay in, the kind of things I want around me, the kind of car I want to own, the kind of colors I like around me etc. Identifying want I want has made it easy to set my objectives and my goals. I also knew that I wanted great and healthy relationships with my family and friends. That meant investing in cultivating and nourishing the bonds I shared with all the people I care about.. making time for phone calls, visits, being there for my loved ones when they need me and spoiling them. Absolutely never talking to them with disrespect no matter how much they annoyed me sometimes. Of course the annoyance would pass but a rude tone of voice and rude words are rarely forgotten. I also like to receive love in return and if I felt I was not getting as much as I am giving out, I tell the person upfront how I feel. In some cases, I simply withdraw. One of the best things I ever learned to do was to talk in clear and direct terms. And if I feel my needs for love are not being met, I know how to speak up. I have been battling with my weight for years and when I look at my pictures, I clearly like myself slim. After procrastinating about it, I decided that something has to give. So I am choosing to give up all my sugar addictions like coca-cola, cake ,ice cream etc. No point consuming all that junk, then almost wearing myself out with exercise and seeing no results. Talk about self defeating habits! Then my spiritual life. Getting older meant I started asking myself a lot of deep questions. Who controlled my destiny? Obviously not me. I have no way of knowing what is going to happen to me the next hour, in spite of my best made plans. So I have learned to have faith and hope in a power higher than me. That means I have learnt to identify what I can control and what I cannot control and I take everything in stride with faith that everything works out for my good. I have also learnt to listen to my feelings. Things that cause me pain, I refrain from doing. My inner voice telling me something is very wrong with a situation, I take time to examine it. What makes me feel love, I do. Bottom-line, it feels really good to be me. And it shall be a beautiful journey with myself.
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 09:03:07 +0000
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