WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME Wingate & Finchley 0-4 Kingstonian Some days it just isn’t worth getting out of bed and unfortunately Saturday 24th August 2013 proved to be just one of those days. At around 11:30 as a monsoon rather reminiscent of rainy season in Southern Vietnam whipped itself into a frenzy I left Northampton for Finchley via car. 20 minutes later I was to found sitting in a queue of cars sauntering past the M1 junction 15 at a maximum speed of 10 miles an hour. A process I was to repeat more times than I care to recollect over the next few hours as I whizzed down the M1 at a speed comparable to that of paraplegic tortoise observing various broken down / smashed up cars parked on the hard shoulder as I went. The aspect of this situation that annoyed me the most was the fact that these accidents, probably caused by the adverse weather conditions had long been cleared away to the side of the road in a bid to open the all lanes of the motorway by the police and there was absolutely no reason why we were crawling along at a snail’s pace. Our perennially slow velocity was basically a byproduct of people’s seemingly bizarre fascination with looking at smashed up and mangled pieces of metal. If these people are so interested in looking at smashed up and dented hunks of metal, perhaps they could provide me with their address and car registration details and I will happily smash up their vehicle for them and they can then sit outside their house and happily look at the mangled piece of metal and glass that was once their automobile to their hearts content in an environment that doesn’t inconvenience everybody else who may not be interested in looking at carnage and would just like to get to their destination at some point within this millennium. Two and a half hours later I finally reached Summers Lane naively assuming that the day couldn’t get any worse, boy how wrong was I. When I arrived Milky Tom was already scribbling down the team sheet into his Brown Topping diary and a quick look at his illegible scrawl revealed that the only significant change from Tuesday nights’ side was that Ahmet was replacing Leon Smith in the lone striker role. At around five to three o’clock has we assembled under the roof behind the goal gratefully sheltering from the relentless downpour I received a phone call from Phil. Now Phil knows better than to call me when I’m at football so I knew instantly this wasn’t just a social call and so it transpired. Apparently Phil’s son had managed to break the pane of glass in the window on the front of my house, these things tend to come in threes as the old saying goes so I knew at this point one of two things were going to occur to complete my tri-fector of misery. Either my car which was at this point parked just outside the stadium was going to explode showering everyone assembled at Summers Lane in a deluge of fiery metallic chunks or The Blue Gods were going to get stuffed. Half an hour later as Kingstonian banged in their third goal at least I could take some form of comfort that my car probably wasn’t going to explode. The visitors adapted to the conditions much more effectively than Wingate and looked a completely different outfit to the one we beat 3-0 at home towards the end of last season. The Blue Gods were behind as early as the tenth minute the Kingstonian winger got in behind Paul Wright via a quick one two and send over a devastating cross that was duly finished to pile on the misery for The Blue Gods. The best chance of the half for Wingate came when Weather’s header from a corner was blocked by a mixture of goal keeper and defender, neither knew much about it. An incident of high controversy occurred in the 23rd minute, captain Weathers put in what looked to all intents and purposes a brilliantly timed tackle. However the man in black decreed otherwise and gleefully pointed to the spot much to the disbelief of almost everyone on and off the pitch. The Kingstonian striker accepted the gift with both hands and slammed home to double the hosts’ lead. In the grand scheme of things the decision didn’t alter the outcome of the game, Kingstonian were head and shoulders above The Blue Gods on the day. However incompetent decisions from match officials shouldn’t just be ignored. Three minutes later it was 3-0 and I seriously contemplated taking Del’s advice and getting back on the motorway, however I just couldn’t stomach the thought of another 2-3 hours on the M1 looking at the back of the same car as boredom and my weak bladder fought each other for my attention. We improved marginally in the second half however Kingstonian were imperious and only a fantastic double save from Bobby Smith kept the deficit at three goals. The introduction of twin strikers Leon Smith and David Laird enabled us to alter formation and occupy the Kingstonian backline more affectively who up until now had enjoyed a very easy afternoon. The goalkeeper especially could have happily sat in a deck chair during the first half. At last the keeper had to be on toes to deny both Leon and Lairdy, however Kingstonian had the last laugh when a comical mix up reminiscent of my efforts of a Sunday morning saw Ryan Moss bag his hat trick. THE BLUE GODS: 1- Bobby “Come On Eileen” Smith 2- Ola Williams 3- Paul “Dancing Queen” Wright 4- Tommy Tejan-Sie 5- Jessie “Roasted Parsnips” Parsons 6- Marc Weatherstone 7- Dean Mason 8- Scott “Shilton” Shulton 9- Ahmet Rifat 10- John “Cockfisters” Christian 11- Hector “Canada The Brave” Mackie 12-Farai “Metropolitan Line” Hallam 14-Daniel “Invisible Man” McGonigle 15-Spencer “Where Your Sister?” McCall 16-Leon Smith 17-David Laird The Rob Sez B*llocks MOTM – Bobby Smith
Posted on: Thu, 29 Aug 2013 13:36:00 +0000
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