WHY LUOS NEVER WIN ON BONYEZA USHINDEE CHAPAA: SAFARICOM: Hello, am i speaking to Otiende Openda? OTIENDE: In the event that u want to secure my audience, Please predecease the names Otiende Openda with the prefix Engineer SAFARICOM: you r our lucky winner and we.... OTIENDE: Yes, I radiate an apologetic tone for bombarding your systems with an avalanche of messages yester night. You see I left the custody of my Samsung Note 4 phone to my 9 year old son so that he could play with as he had developed monotony to his toys. He must have contacted u by error. SAFARICOM: By error? OTIENDE: Yes. u see, he wanted to re-united Esther Arunga with his home country (bring Esther Arunga home) but didn’t know the exact pay bill number so I told him for the sake of probability, to send SMSes to all pay bill numbers reply to all Auto sent smses in ma phone and also any Smses he has ever seen being displayed on my 154 inch curved Samsung OLED HD screen that also relays 3d images. u must have been a beneficiary of his gesture SAFARICOM : we received your messages nevertheless and er are pleased to inform u that u are our lucky winner today OTIENDE: actually it is my son who has won, let me expose this dialogue to him via a telle conference call so that u can relay to him the good news SAFARICOM: No sir, we just wanted to inform u that he has won kshs.1000,000 shillings and would like u and him to come to our headquarters n pick the prize infront of the cameras OTIENDE: I am withered with shock SAFARICOM: We know u must be too happy OTIENDE: I was jubilating until u inserted the suffix Kenya shillings vis-à-vis dollars after the digits. U want to assemble me and my offspring before the local TVs UHF and VHF bandwidths and ask us to jubilate profusely at 1000,000 shillings?. Are u aware that such information can leak into CNN orBBC and expose me to international shame as my fellow alumni’s from the university of Ohio residing in the Diaspora may recognize me and embed shame to my occupation SAFARICOM: Excuse me sir but this news would make anyone happy OTIENDE: if u had called me to alert me that mack zuckerberg is selling all his shares to me. then the Muscles residing in close proximity to my jaws would have relaxed to depic happiness SAFARICOM: we still require u to come to our offices so that we can explain more details on how u will receive your.... OTIENDE: Then dispatch a helicopter to the coordinates of my dwelling to phery me and my son to your bearings, then promise to grant us anonymity by hiding our faces when we r receiving the cheque and please please, so that people do not recognize my name with ease, just omit the prefix Engineer. SAFARICOM: We cannot do that sir OTIENDE : Then i suggest that u terminate this cellular dialogue promptly b4 I sue u for diminishing the voltage in my cellular gadgets power plant (batteries) via this misplaced dialogue.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 12:04:59 +0000
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