WHY YOU SHOULD CONFRONT MARRIAGE CONFLICT HEAD ON Conflict is part of marriage, so couples should not fret when it happens. Conflict avoidance happens due to fear of rejection or criticism or desiring status quo. Conflict is uncomfortable for everyone however, it’s worse for those who suffer from avoidant personality disorder. These persons will find it more difficult to confront situations and prefer keeping away at all costs. Conflict avoidance is challenging and those that suffer most from this trait suffer in silence. Sometimes they will be comfortable using avoidance simply to “keep the peace” at any cost. They might pretend that everything is well and deny their feelings. Others might simply walk away and avoid conversation if there is the slightest threat of conflict while there are those that would tactfully change the subject. Still, there are those that engage in passive-aggressive behaviour as a method of indirectly expressing themselves and their frustrations. TOXIC Most relationships go through exciting times while at times also experience some rough patches. When things are going well, the partners are joyful, content and excited about the relationship and life in general until something goes wrong. When the challenge presents itself, the relationship becomes challenged and sometimes broken. A lot of anxiety is experienced by both parties and the once secure partners become threatened and unsure of what will unfold for them. How you handle the conflicts will influence your ability to maintain the relationship and thrive. Conflict avoidance is among the leading killers of relationship for it destroys the foundations of the union. To avoid this trap, simply ask yourself the question; “How long will I avoid confronting the issues because of fear?” “Is the avoidance adding value, building or destroying my relationship?” There are many couples who fear facing conflict and end up ignoring the issues that are threatening their relationship. Jimmy for instance, has for a long time avoided confrontation simply because he feared his wife’s reaction and preferred not to rock the boat. He recalls: “I continued to ignore the issues that challenged my marriage for the sake of peace. My wife always overreacts whenever I correct her or bring out an issue, something I disliked greatly. Any time I corrected her she would be defensive and emotional, broke things in the house and was dramatic. When I realized it is not possible to reason with her, I decided to let things be…keep my thoughts and feelings to myself. I now recognize that this state of affairs is weighing my wife down and killing our relationship!” Jimmy’s tactic only allows the problem to fester and become worse. Conflict avoidance is a marriage killer. Avoiding it may give you some temporary comfort and relief. Unfortunately; it has the potential to ruin even the strongest of relationships.
Posted on: Sun, 26 Jan 2014 15:04:20 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015