WOW! Super emotional day today. They said that the transplant day, also known as Day 0, would be kind of anticlimactic, but I beg to differ. Everything that I have been through since July 23rd has been in preparation for this moment. While it’s true that there was no Jekyll/Hyde transformation when the stem cells went back in, the symbolism of what was happening was not lost on anyone in the room. Two rounds of hardcore chemo in July and August were designed to kill the cancer in my bloodstream and give me a chance at collecting clean, healthy stem cells to be used to ‘reboot’ my immune system. This past week, I’ve been hooked up to one form of drug or another designed to kill of everything in my bone marrow and provide a shiny new home for my previously harvested cells. This morning, it dawned on me that my entire life and future is sitting in a steel box, cryogenically frozen to -40 degrees, waiting to return and do its’ healing work. I was sure hoping that the delivery boy wouldn’t slip and spill the load in the hallway somewhere. Without those cells, I’d be gone inside two weeks for sure. We watched intently as the cells were being injected back into me. You could actually see clusters of stem cells passing through the clear plastic catheter running into my chest. Someone commented that they were marching like soldiers, going in to kick some serious ass. I LIKED IT!! So at this very moment, I sit here with a new lease on life, profoundly grateful for literally everything. Some might say I’m like a shiny new dime, ready for circulation. The truth is I’m probably more like one of those nasty old pennies that you soak in ketchup overnight for a middle school chemistry experiment. Shinier than I was before, but I’ve still got some crud in my crannies. Most people, including myself, go through life doing what they can to avoid trouble and pain. That’s natural and expected. All I can say is that if it ever finds you, use it to transform you for the better. It’s all too easy to let it sink you into misery. I have a profound sense of gratitude and appreciation that I wouldn’t have had before going through this. I think of the tremendous dedication and hard work of all the doctors, scientists, and technicians that has been done over the last several decades that even gives me the opportunity to get the treatment I need. I marvel at the amount of support and caring shown by friends and family. It’s seems like a little thing, but all the Super K shirts popping up all over Facebook all day long can eventually bring a grown man to tears. I’m amazed by my family on all sides. My children have been incredibly strong through all of this and soldiered on. There’s nothing harder than seeing the look on your child’s face when it dawns on them that they won’t be able to see you for 5-6 weeks while you are recovering. They handled it with much more grace that I did. I’m humbled that my parents would put their lives on hold and move down here for an indeterminate amount of time in order to help take care of me. Of course, it’s what every parent should do, but it is easier said than done. My inlaws, despite having their own difficult medical challenges to deal with, have always been there for us and their positive outlook is always appreciated. My brothers have been a great means of support, and even though I don’t have them close by, knowing all that they would be willing to do to help me at any time is enough. My brother-in-law and his wife even spent ten hours in the car each way from Kentucky to spend one night in Summerville to celebrate my birthday while I was still feeling well. I AM TRULY BLESSED! Of course, I have to mention my amazing wife. She’s so amazing that she gets her own paragraph! I’m not even sure where to start. Her strength seems to know no bounds. Somehow, she is able to juggle all of the daily routines, handle all of the extra work that exists in my absence, take time to see me, and hold down three different jobs. If that wasn’t enough, she decided that the best way to deal with our ordeal was to use it as an opportunity to raise funds for other people. Through her tireless efforts, and with the help of countless amazing friends and supporters, #roadtorecovery has raised almost $50K to help out those in need. I don’t even know how to do that justice. Amy, you are an amazing person and I can’t say enough how blessed I am to have you in my life. How’s that for starters? You’ve truly taught me what it means to be selfless and think of others first. You’re an incredible mother and I can’t think of a better role model for our children. I thank God for you every day. You and He are my strength. Enough of the gobbledygook for now. I mainly wanted to express my gratitude publicly while my heart is open and overflowing. Words aren’t really enough, so I’m going to do my best to bring these lessons into my new lease on life and live like I’m dying all the time. If you are struggling with anything in life, take a step back and get some perspective. Ask for forgiveness if it’s needed, love your children more than they deserve, let go of any resentments you might have, become your partner’s greatest fan. The quality of our lives boils down to the quality of our relationships and we are all in a position to make a positive impact. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU!!!
Posted on: Tue, 14 Oct 2014 01:18:58 +0000
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