WUNJO REFLECTIONS I have noticed a series of Wunjo related experiences occurring most powerfully before, during and after the mid-point of this rune’s seasonal reign. Each experience felt intense and followed hot on the heels of the one previous, as if getting me in training for Wunjo awareness. Though the challenge of each was in potential hostility and conflict, the resolution of each has given me faith in the power of this rune to take us to deeper levels of fellow-understanding and acceptance. Love has the power to reconcile, even when it doesn’t feel like a very personal, intimate love, but a broader philosophical love of goodness and humanity. Wunjo covers both ends of the spectrum! I have observed conflict within close personal relationships, within Facebook groups and with virtual friends on Facebook. But in each case the situation was resolved, to some degree of satisfaction, in quick succession. I want to record the observations that helped me – observations about hostility and observations about tools for reconciliation. These observations may be obvious to you, and if so, please excuse me. It would interest me to know if any of these themes resonated with you during the Wunjo period. So, many blocked Wunjo energies and threads were weaving together: hostility; anger, particularly over boundaries; self-esteem issues and the misery of depression, having believed the messages, both internal and external, of personal unworthiness. COMPASSION BEFORE SELF-JUDGMENT If we can become aware when self-judgments trigger and stop these thoughts, we are making an important step towards reconciliation, not only with ourselves but with others. However the hostility arises, don’t judge yourself for your part in it. Sometimes we are in the grip of a traumatic response and our anger comes from our old wounding, but it can also signify the instinctual drive to fight the original person or event that traumatised us, which is an indication of the life force protecting itself, even if the aggressive life force is misdirected in the current situation. This misapplication of anger can create instant guilt feelings or trigger fears about provoking the original harm towards us again. Negative judgments about one’s own anger are likely to move us into denial, because the consequence of being found at fault feel unbearable. In a state of denial you can’t look at yourself or listen to others and therefore there is little opportunity to reconcile any situation. Stop. Compassion before judgment. Can you be kind to yourself this one time and see your anger was for a reason, even if the reason is stuck in the past? It is a sticking point because it hasn’t been healed. You need a kind response to yourself, not self-punishment. This is a matter of healing, not goodness versus badness. The feelings may be uncomfortable, but resist your usual escape routes. ORIENTATION Look around for a moment and note you are in the present. You are not in the circumstances of the original trauma. Touch the chair, the table. Orient yourself to the current reality. Note your familiar surroundings. If you can bring yourself perceptually back to the present, there is a chance that things can turn out differently this time. The threat that you felt, though powerful, was a body survival memory from the past. It does not necessarily apply here. Is your adversary in this situation really the same person as the adversary from the past? When the trauma is activated it seems that way, but is that feeling true? If they are not the same person and this is not the same situation, then maybe they have motives and drives in this situation that are also sufficiently different and potentially lighter. HONESTY WITH SELF AND OTHERS Can you explain why something someone said felt so painful? Can you explain this to yourself, especially should you come to realise that the meaning you placed upon it and the consequent pain was not intended by that person? Firstly, can you explain it to yourself – what did it remind you of? Been here before? Many times? Then accept this is also something to do with you and not only to do with your current “adversary”. Secondly, can you explain it to them? The honesty is in looking at yourself, owning your stuff and letting the other person know that you see it. You are making an opening for change – in yourself, in the situation and for the other person involved. You are making it OK for the other person to look at themselves too. You cannot control whether they do or not, but you are already in surplus, having gained self-awareness. Anything else is a bonus. Be ready to hear about the pain that was resonating for them while the hostility lasted and withhold judgment from them just as you reserved it from yourself. Judgment creates denial, remember. Withhold judgement from the other person and you give them the freedom to look at themselves and listen to you. You may discover they were just as much activated by old trauma as you and just as much scared of punishment and rejection. Be ready to apply kindnesses to that trauma just as much as you benefitted from kindness to yourself. By giving and receiving honesty in this way we make a space for oneness and identification of common humanity. APOLOGIES If an apology feels right then do it. Only you can decide. If you misunderstood someone’s true position and cast aspersions because of it, then an apology seems appropriate to me. You know it’s right when not giving one rests heavy on your heart and prevents you from healing and moving on, as well as holding the other person in a place of pain. Apologies need to be given gracefully, not begrudgingly or with provisos. Make clear the thing for which you apologise and leave it at that. You shouldn’t need to apologise more than once, if your wording is distinct and appropriate. It may take a while for the apology to sink in with another person. Create space around it and let it breathe. Likewise it is equally important for people to acknowledge when an apology has been given. It may be a verbal apology or actions that clearly imply some kind of energetic apology is taking place. Don’t take these olive branches for granted. Use them as a cue to turn down the volume on raging feelings because something has just shifted – didn’t you notice? Stop and appreciate the fact that that someone cares enough to make an offering. Not acknowledging an apology is remiss and lacking in grace and may well close down the flow of other graces. In my own experiences this week I missed an opportunity to join a shift in energy when I failed to acknowledge an apology. However, I later recognised my error and made genuine recompense and the completion of the shift took place. I went from having a facebook private messaging contretemps about boundaries, very un-characteristic of me, to making a proper new friend. The universe physically brought us together the next day for a “accidental” meeting on the High Street, never having met before – and we hugged! In this space of grace, my former “adversary” also had the magnitude to admit her experience of “instant karma” that made her think about my original beef with her regarding boundaries. GRATITUDE Try to recognise how the whole experience may have benefitted you and voice this understanding. Share what you see in yourself now that you didn’t see before and honour that the other person was part and parcel in bringing that awareness about. Early on in my “Wunjo Intensive”, I failed to recognise an occasion when an expression of gratitude could have transformed a tense situation when I seemed to be dancing in and out of conflict with a loved one all day. Someone had made considerations for me, made space for me to do as I needed to nurture myself. On reflection, my lack of gratitude had come from an attitude that said inwardly and angrily, “I deserve this consideration!”. My self-esteem was alert to show me what I had earned and what I truly deserved - the consideration was what I had been fighting for. But my self-esteem “went over” into arrogance. As no recognition had been forth coming I met with resentment in response. Later on in my rollercoaster “Wunjo Intensive” I made good on gratitude, seeing an opportunity for it earlier in the exchange and the conflict with a different person was over quite quickly. This was a situation with someone for whom I have the utmost respect. Everything suddenly broke down when we both hit a flow of anger from our individual pasts. For a while I was horrified to find myself in misunderstood conflict with her and felt the fear of her possible judgment upon me. It took a great deal of courage for me to say “Your anger is closing me down”. But somehow miraculously while saying this very sentence I recognised my own old pattern in reaction to perceived aggression. I told her I recognised it and thanked her for, perhaps unwittingly, showing it to me! I went from “You’re closing me down!” to “You are a blessing in my life”. Well, by the end of the exchange we were hugging and honouring each other again. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR PAIN BODY We all have wounds that need tender, loving care. Whoever may have inflicted them, we are now the custodians. We need to hold ourselves, give healing touch to ourselves and to the areas of emotional pain, discomfort and trauma. We need to combine tender touch with kind words “You are OK little one, I love and protect you”. Work to bring simple physical relaxation and comfort to the places in our bodies that hold traumatic emotions, taking cues on what alteration in position brings release of tension or a shift in awareness, from our own bodies. Move instinctually to allow your body to express its needs, don’t question it. This uncomplicated attention to physical self-care has a subtle but real effect upon self-esteem, diverting us away self-judgmental mind-traps, which block a deeper, more practical and effective connection to self. THE TRUE VALUE OF ANGER IN HEALING Although my Wunjo post tended to place anger on the negative side of this rune’s equation, my recent experiences have shown me how anger can also be one important ingredient in the crucible that alchemises conflict back into love and reconciliation. The other ingredients have been mentioned already, but to recap, anger can be a part of healing when it is sufficiently mixed with honesty, self-awareness and compassion. There is a case for righteous anger, expressed in the moment it is relevant, upholding personal truth and creating a stunning new appreciation of boundaries that sufficiently meets unconsciousness in others and shakes them into sudden self-awareness. The Christ energy is clearly love energy, but also expressed righteous anger when necessary without ever losing the capacity for compassion. This is different to ancient, blind projection that ties us to the patterns of trauma. However, let’s recognise that even this can, at especially powerful times, create opportunities for awareness, particularly if we and others around us are able to refrain from judgment and denial. IN CONCLUSION... I have been amazed by the emphatic desire of the Wunjo rune to make itself understood, in its many shades and tones. What a blessing. My focus upon it helped me come through a choppy time when Mercury Retrograde mixed with the usual, powerful energies of Glastonbury and an approaching new moon in Scorpio sparked off some right old challenges. This whole episode really helped me see Wunjo’s position on the Rune Year Wheel with more insight and clarity. Why does Wunjo sit where it does? The question perhaps should be, “How can Wunjo come into being within the Rune Year Wheel?”. My answer to that would be: “With the vital help and support of all the initial rune energies, one through to six.” as follows: 1) Uruz – you are in the present, not in the past, even when it feels like you are re-living it at some level. Also give nurture to your body to practice compassion to yourself. Notice its instinctual moves towards comfort and the settling of stress and trauma. 2) Thurisaz – channelling some natural aggression in the direction of truth, honesty and fair-play can be a factor in the restoration of love and more loving actions and awareness. 3) Ansuz – having the courage to communicate, even if you “get it wrong” (as I did) is vital if reconciliation is to happen at all. Communicating again can put things right! 4) Raido – mindful awareness about personal reaction and judgment makes honesty possible and creates openings within conflict for change. 5) Kenaz – willingness to hold a torch up to the inner darkness brings greater knowledge of self. Habits of self-reflection, when we learn to listen to ourselves, help us listen to others. 6) Gebo – keep the flow, the exchange going and trust that even a conflicted exchange may move into a state of harmony with heart-centred giving and receiving in the form of apologies and gratitude. I can see it now. Wunjo is a place we come to if we can adopt the healing tools provided by the other runes that precede it. Although we come in as souls with Wunjo shining bright, trauma can tarnish it and place a barrier that separates us from its light. I know love-centred people who are yet afraid of any conflict that seems to dispel their notion of peace and well-being. I think to be truly empowered we have to be able to experience conflict and understand the keys for finding our way back to love. Otherwise we just preserve false harmony out of fear or low self-esteem instead of creating deep, lasting peace. When conflicts arise they can be catalysts for change, if we are able to recognise the shared pain of fear, judgement and separation which drives them. Honesty and compassion about that fosters the common understanding that makes reconciliation possible. Rosemary Taylor
Posted on: Fri, 24 Oct 2014 21:05:58 +0000
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