Walking alone, lost in my thoughts and not looking back. Living the last ten years with Alzheimer’s, I’ve done this countless times. I wear a smile and try to stay positive but inside I am so alone and lost. You can’t help me, nobody can. I realize how much my life has changed and miss the things I was once capable of doing. I’ve walked through the fog and visited the dark side. In fairness I also saw the light and felt the feeling of Hope. This is all part of living with Alzheimer’s. I no longer control my emotions, Alzheimer’s does. I try very hard to post positive things but am I really expressing what my life is like? Nobody wants to hear about the dark ugly side of Alzheimer’s, they only want to hear about the rosy uplifting side. I believe they see so much of this disease that they want that speck of sunshine. I’m told all the time how lucky I am because I have such a mild case of Dementia. It seems that way because of my positive outlook but I’m being torn up inside, my life is in turmoil but it is so important that I stay focused and positive for others. ‘ The day will come when my Alzheimer’s no longer effects me. I will have won my battle at a very large expense. Until then I will put on my happy face knowing I will never be able to practice what I preach, Alzheimer’s won’t let me. Alzheimer’s is walking with me and holding my hand.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Jul 2014 13:14:21 +0000
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