Wanna know the fastest way to get me off the couch? Tell me there is a spider on me...my son looks at me and says hey mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMY! What bub?! Um you have a spider on you (very calmly). So of course my heart stops my blood runs cold and I start emitting screams and contorting myself in such a way that I will hurt for a week all while levitating myself off the couch in one fluid motion smacking myself and shedding outter clothing. All this lasted about 2.5 milliseconds. Then the interrogation begins...bub are u sure, were u just kidding, how big, what color...he is no longer paying attention so I start looking at the couch sure Ill never sit on it again. Annie climbs up on the couch and I snatch her off as though a rattlesnake is hiding in it. Finally I get the courage to search the couch while silently I am mourning the loss of my favorite seat...imagining never being able to sit and read or watch tv again when I see a ball of grey under a cushion...work up the nerve to look closer and there it is...dead and curled up...whew! Sigh of relief and the world stops spinning...now I just have to deal with the creepy crawlies for probably the rest off all time sporadically smacking at myself and having mini strokes and palpitations...
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 14:02:37 +0000
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