Want to be happy? DECIDE what is most meaningful to you and commit yourself wholeheartedly to it. Our Freedom to give meaning to even the most difficult situation and to exercise our will to safeguard that TRUTH is the key to happiness. infpblog/favorites/happiness-means-burning-bridges/ This Harvard study on Happiness is one of the reasons why I wrote my childrens book, The Happiest Doll of All. Happiness comes from committing yourself to something that resonates with your values, and taking responsibility for the success of your decision, even if you feel you are constrained in your choices. Some have deeply internalized values such as friendship, the need for intimacy, the need for succor. And others have deeply externalized values such as success in ones career or social prestige. Whatever you decide to set your heart on, gather as much information as you can first, then make a commitment. Another related work that informed me in developing my philosophy for this childrens book was Viktor Frankls Mans Search for Meaning, where Holocaust Survivors derived resilience and hope from choosing which MEANING to ascribe to their situation and deciding what action they will take based on their definition of what is most meaningful in that particular situation. At the end of the original story by Hans Christian Andersen, one comes to the conclusion that all can be happy. But the one who ended up most deeply happy was the one who realized that the meaning one chooses to give to ones relationship, no matter how devastating is the key to making a decision sans regret. And that is how I realized that even if I wasnt chosen by God to enter religious life, I could choose to find meaning in the world I was thrust into. I also do not regret falling in love with a person who succumbed to a brain tumor. What really got to me was his insistence to shut me out of his life because he didnt want me to be burdened with his sickness. To have ones love denied is actually the biggest pain of all for someone like me. I was willing to rearrange my entire life to help this man who had suffered such enormous setbacks in life after the tragic loss of his girlfriend, and the brain tumor, and the unjust vilification he endured. But when he shut the door on my face, it was the unkindest cut of all. I know that he loved me and was simply trying to protect me from his enemies, but it still cut me to the core. First God shut me out of the convent, then this man shut me out from loving him. Then when I wanted to follow my Welsh ex by going abroad to be with him, God paralyzed my stomach. It was one tragedy after another. And a third heartbreak followed - but not because I was in love with the guy, but because God was teaching me that my heart was worth so much more than the affection of this anti-Semitic man. I have ZERO regrets when it comes to the life choices I made. But I am deeply hurt by having been shut out repeatedly by individuals and by sickness from the things I loved most with all my heart, body, soul and mind. I crossed oceans for God, for my exes, and rearranged my life just to be with them, but the door was shut on my face repeatedly. It hurts me even more because I derive happiness from intimate relationships wherein I heavily invest myself to build a future with the individual. Intimate devotion is everything to me - it is how God crafted my mind, heart and soul. I fall so madly in love. You have no idea how painful that is. But I am proud of the fact that I chose to love them with all my heart. This is why this childrens book means so much to me. In a sense, I do feel like the Happy Prince of Oscar Wilde, with my broken body, but now I have to find a way for my body to mend, and I am running out of time. I already escaped death from the stomach paralysis once. I pray that God will give me enough resources to find my happy ending this time around, now that Im living on borrowed time. I dont want my life to be a tragedy forever. I dont want my nerves to deteriorate, or my stomach to be paralyzed again due to heat intolerance. I dont want to succumb to cancer because I failed to settle down, give birth and have my hormones balanced out. So I will do my utmost to find a job abroad where it is cooler.
Posted on: Sun, 07 Dec 2014 07:03:21 +0000
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