Want to know or confirm what it feels like to live with a Passive Aggressive partner; how it has you questioning yourself and soul searching and feeling wretched? Also read on to find out about the importance of Self Awareness. Passive Aggressive Partners leave you constantly questioning yourself ! Source: Passive Aggressive Behaviour can ruin a relationship! Passive Aggressive Behaviour in romantic relationships By definition, Passive aggressive (PA) people seek to avoid direct conflict and use non verbal, non-physical, furtive opposition, resistance and withdrawal to get what they want or need. It is said that passive aggression is learned in childhood as a defence mechanism when a person feels overwhelmed or helpless in the face of those in authority, for example a dominant parent, teacher. Their upbringing leaves them with a firmly held belief that showing their anger is unacceptable and thus begins a propensity to use passive aggressive behaviour. Anger is covertly expressed in ways that often hurts their nearest and dearest, and ultimately they hurt themselves, even though they do not realise it. Looking back Deep within most of us, there lies a degree of passive aggression, but a small degree of this trait is not too problematic in the great scheme of life. An extremely passive aggressive spouse can prompt their somewhat PA husband or wife to become increasingly PA. The frustration of living with a routinely PA partner can drive a person to feel frustration, low self esteem, confusion, upset, irritation, resentment, extreme stress and/or desperation. It may even culminate in the non or less PA partner exploding into angry outbursts. If this happens, it then appears that the PA spouse is the injured party and poor them for having to deal with an impatient explosive partner! The passive aggressive spouse having brought about a furious outburst in their partner, they then have added fuel for resentment. Thus further passive aggression ensues and the cycle escalates. When one passive person in a relationship brings out the worst in their partner it becomes a case of which came first, the chicken or the egg! Apportioning blame can become increasingly difficult, resentments multiply and sadly over time the relationship is slowly destroyed. Confusion about where you stand ??? It is often so very difficult to know where you stand with a Passive Aggressive spouse. Wants and Needs are often not made known to you, so better make sure you are a mindreader! Unspoken rule changes happen out of the blue but are not communicated Passive aggressives feel justified to renege on agreed courses of action because, unknowingly, you have not taken note of one of their requirements (a requirement which they never told you about in the first place). Resentment is a primary fuel to the PA person and they may not even be conscious of their game-playing, genuinely believing that they are in the right. Moreover When you try to put yourself in their shoes and acknowledge their feelings, they often prefer to wallow in their problem and negativity, rather than work to resolve matters. If you try to really listen and empathise with them they don’t seem to hear it. Hmm that seems familiar
Posted on: Wed, 20 Aug 2014 07:16:34 +0000
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