(Warning: this is not a post for people who like lists of things that make you happy, or motivational quotes. Dont read if this if you can only handle 140 characters about training hard and eating clean. This is not for people who are allergic to the word gym either.) I realised today that I have more desire to train right now than I have done since I first started. I promised myself I would eclipse everything Ive done before. For the last 6 months I lost the motivation to train completely. I really had no interest in going to the gym, nothing to aim for, no desire at all to push myself or suffer. I was unhappy. I thought back to when I first started; I weighed about 140lbs, deeply depressed, and hated every facet of my life. Every time I went in the gym, I put everything into that moment, nothing else existed in my universe. I just wanted to look average and feel average. And when I went beyond that, I just kept going out of momentum. When I was depressed everything felt dead and numb, with no highs or lows. And when I thought about that, I realised that its not natural to be happy all the time either. Life is just a succession of moments. We might be happy in a moment, but it doesnt last. Neither does suffering. I remembered a quote from Epicurus: Prolonged pain is never intense, intense pain is never prolonged. True bliss cant last forever. Neither can true suffering. So Ive learnt to embrace suffering and unhappiness and - to quote Kipling - ...meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two imposters just the same. If you live in the moment you dont need motivation or desire. You can accept that these things come and go. Use them to push you forward, to achieve things, to make positive changes. But dont rely on them, because they will disappear as quickly as they came.
Posted on: Sat, 31 May 2014 10:50:49 +0000
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