Was thinking about my mom this morning, who passed away a few months ago, and the gifts she gave me. And that got me thinking about emotional intelligence. Hers, not mine! She was naturally better at it. Me, I had to actually take some intense workshops years later beyond my childhood on improving emotional intelligence (its now called EQ, a twist on the IQ acronym). It happened because I read an article one day in my late 20s that basically said: the main controllable reasons people dont get the results they want (life/business/relationships) is because they are too reactive; being reactive makes us draw false conclusions. Example: someone turns us down and our reactive mind floods the cells with the message, See? I knew I couldnt do this business/skill/thingamabob and then for the rest of our day or our week or our entire life, we run this false conclusion poison through our blood stream, and go back to our safe job, safe role, safe voice, safe and comfortable identity. I read that article and thought, crap... thats describing me. I asked around and found a local weekend workshop by a local author. Looking back heres what I remember: EQ isnt about being perfect, ha far from it. Its about understanding that in every engagement where we a) talk with other humans and b) talk to our internal self, we have a chance to be self aware and decide what emotional response we want to have. Pulled from an article I read this morning: EQ people are not dominated by fear, worry, guilt, shame, embarrassment, obligation, disappointment, hopelessness, powerlessness, dependency, victimization, or discouragement. They do not give or receive manipulation. High EQ people let their own personal goals and desires motivate them—not power, wealth, status, fame, or approval. They don’t do things because of a false sense of duty, guilt, force, or obligation. They balance out their feelings with reality checks of logic when needed. They are independent, intrinsically motivated, and self reliant. They also aren’t afraid to push out of their comfort zone to reach new heights. My mom never took that workshop to learn this, but she had a lot of these skills. Me, I had to spend damn money! I contend the world would be a much better place if we taught this stuff in school. Some starter articles on the topic: lifehack.org/articles/communication/10-things-high-people-dont.html lifehack.org/articles/communication/7-practical-ways-improve-your-emotional-intelligence.html blogs.hbr.org/2013/05/can-you-really-improve-your-em/ mindtools/pages/article/newCDV_59.htm
Posted on: Sat, 23 Aug 2014 16:29:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015