Watch Your Friends (2) Published on July 12, 2013 by pmnews · No Comments The influence of friends on relationships is something you cannot readily deny. There are testimonies/stories that clearly show how friends have contributed to each other’s blessing or downfall. The kind of friends you keep or share your family matter with will affect how well you can cope in relationships. People who come as friends but with hidden motive of destroying your relationship go the extra mile to plant negative thoughts against it. You really have to look closely before opening up to them on private concerns. Do not be in a hurry to pour your heart to strangers in a bid to make friends. Some folks are so sneaky you may not suspect their wicked plans until they have hit you hard and you are down. People who tend to show too much interest in your private affairs and ask too many questions may not be totally clean, but you can defeat them by being reserved and calculated. Issues of relationships sometimes do not have a yes or no answer and the friend you are discussing with might not have a clear view of what the truth is; at the end of the day, you might end up with wrong suggestions because you gave wrong information in the first place. Bearing in mind there are friends who would want you out of your relationship simply because they are out of theirs or jealous of what you’ve got will help you sift through suggestions or insinuations that might be harmful. Helen tells how she confided in a friend when facing hard times in marriage. “Jessica was a lady I met in the children’s school as we walked past each other daily, hurrying to catch up with school time. Mary was my only child so I spent ample time looking after myself even in the morning before stepping out to drop her off. Most women confessed they liked my looks while others just pretended I didn’t exist but I knew I’ve been made to be conspicuous, not just because I’m pretty but I love to look great too. I choose my clothes carefully and flatter them with matching accessories. “One day, she broke the silence and openly commended the summer dress I put on; she went ahead to ask where I got it from and I said it was my husband who bought it for me during his recent trip to America. Sooner than I expected, most of our conversations ended up with our partners and how they treated us. The man she lived with was not her husband but my hubby and I had been married for eight years. When our conversation moved to personal matters I could no longer manage misunderstanding with my sweetheart without a mention to her. “Initially, she sounded sceptical about men then gradually tried to sell real hatred for matrimony which was why she decided never to be called anybody’s wife again. I bought into her view and her suggestions were so sharp and effective my husband knew someone somewhere was coaching me. Things went so bad that I finally made up my mind to separate from my husband once our daughter was out of primary school. “I planned to take her somewhere far, where the father would think twice before travelling to see us. Though I didn’t tell anyone what I was thinking, one day, I overheard Jessica in a conversation, regretting why she ever took the foolish decision of splitting with her ex-husband to be with a partner who treats her with so much contempt. She had to be the one paying all the bills and providing all the things the guy needed while he laid lazy and smoked his life away looking for the least opportunity to chase other women. “This was a moment of truth for me; I knew instantly that Jessica wanted me out of my marriage so I would join in her suffering. She wanted me destabilised and confused, hanging out with different blokes who have nothing to offer or ready to build a home. Once she turned and met me standing right behind her as we waited to pick up the kids, she knew nothing could convince me to trust her again. I went home and sorted things out with my husband, apologised for my nasty recent behaviour and put my wifely cap again, ready for the return of marital bliss”. Beware of people who come to tell you how hard they are with their spouses and how they do not take any nonsense from anyone. They might be setting you up for failure in your relationship. Even when some claim it’s their spouse who does everything for them, don’t be jealous of them; it might just be lies. If it’s true, don’t you know all relationships are not the same? There might be things you are enjoying in yours that they would love to have but they refuse to say so; why not be content and move on with your life knowing that there is absolutely no one who has it all in this life. Refuse to let people’s comment, boasting, lies, or even real circumstances pull you away from your decision to stay faithful to your relationship. The grass may look greener on the other side but as you cross over, you’ll either discover you misjudged or was too quick to conclude. How to pick your friends: •Common Interest: Doing things together has a way of making people stick. The more you share in activities the better you get to know and appreciate each other. Bear in mind that the closer you get the more of each other’s weaknesses you’ll also be exposed to but this can be managed with wisdom —no one is flawless. •Values: Hanging out with someone whose values are not too far from yours create a fertile ground for you to soar and hold firm to what you hold in high esteem. •Bad corrupts Good: There is no need fooling yourself that the obviously bad person would be changed overnight by you. If you feel strong enough to impart positive virtue to someone, start it from a distance and work carefully toward closeness but if the bad influence is overwhelming, retreat and decide what is good for you. •Be comfortable together: Having a friend who makes you feel like a nobody is deadly. People who continuously say derogatory or sarcastic things about you have the intention of destroying your person and there is no way you can be fulfilled with such a fellow. •Keep simple: Are you working hard to impress a friend or be accepted? Have a second thought and be convinced you are happy to walk together. A friend should be someone who knows and accepts you just the way you are. •Don’t assume: It’s risky to think people would change because of you. If someone has an attitude you detest, it’s safer not to make them your close pals, relate from far
Posted on: Mon, 15 Jul 2013 17:18:44 +0000
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