We are asked to have the mind of Christ in our relationships with others (Philippians 2:5). In the context of relationships, what does it mean to have the “mind” (thoughts, emotions, attitudes) of Christ? 1) Sacrifice. The cross is the most powerful and perfect symbol of sacrifice known, and that is the example Christ set for us, His demonstration of His love. He knew what we truly needed (salvation), and He met that need as only He could. But in the context of our relationships we often misinterpret what is meant by sacrifice. It is sometimes interpreted as meaning we are to demean or degrade ourselves, as if we don’t matter. Sometimes we assume that we are to forget who we are for the sake of another person, losing ourselves in their lives. However, I would point out that Jesus never forgot Who He was and He never degraded His life, His worth, or His importance. Instead, He chose based on exactly Who He was, and He chose based on love freely given. If we are to have the mind of Christ, then, we would seek to understand the genuine needs of those we love, and as we are able, seek to meet those needs to the best of our ability. I recently saw a movie that captured what I am describing beautifully. A young girl, a cellist, was trying out for acceptance to Julliard, which to her seemed an impossible task. Her younger brother sat on the floor all afternoon, holding the microphone next to her cello as she recorded the tryout piece. When it was over, the brother said, “I thought that was great!” The girl, after some expressions of frustration, self-doubt, and hopelessness, said, “I think I can do better.” The brother, very matter-of-factly, said, “Then let’s do it again.” The image of that young boy, loving his sister so much that he knew in his heart how important his sister’s dream was to her; loving her so much that he would sit still at her feet all afternoon, holding that microphone and encouraging her to battle on; loving her so much that he would freely, willingly give up an entire weekend, without having any desire to do anything else – that is a true picture of sacrifice. He was still completely who he was, a playful, fun-loving boy, who still had his own friends and his own dreams, and who never saw himself as having lost anything because he gave up his time by his own choice based on his own desire. Regarding laying down His life, Jesus said, “No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord” (John 10:18). As is seen in these words, love is sacrifice willingly and freely given, without expectation of return – given for the sake of the heart of the other. 2) Accountability. We also misinterpret love as overlooking all faults of the other, excusing their behavior and calling it forgiveness. However, I would point out that Jesus held His closest friends accountable, and I would say that genuine love is willing to caringly confront wrongs, and to allow the other the opportunity to take responsibility for their actions, because it is only through recognition and responsibility that we grow. In a story that occurred following Jesus’ resurrection, Jesus calls Peter to account for his three denials of Christ before the crucifixion by asking Peter a question that pointed out his behavior and returned him to responsibility. “The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.” (John 21:17). Love doesn’t mean blindness to the misbehavior of the other, and it doesn’t mean acceptance of that behavior as if it is OK. Sin isn’t OK. But the truth is, we often don’t confront sin, not because of the best interest of the other, but because we fear the response of the other toward us. What if they get angry? What if they reject us? Love is willing to take those risks for the sake of the loved one. 3) Inclusion. Most of us live the bulk of our lives behind masks of one kind or another, and behind walls of varying types and heights, self-protecting from hurt, and in the process not allowing others to truly know us. In order to be known, we would need to be vulnerable and open and genuine. We hide because we have been hurt, but hiding isn’t an expression of love. Love includes the other. Love allows the other access to our deepest heart, where we can be more easily hurt. Gethsemane comes to mind, where Jesus brought His closest three friends to sit with Him in His most vulnerable and achingly honest moment. “He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.” (Matthew 26:37-38). Love didn’t hide His pain to guard their image of Him, or protect Himself from their inevitable failure to stay and keep watch, but chose instead to reveal His troubled heart in complete transparency, knowing their humanness would take over, as it does in all of us. Love lets the other in, even to see the worst in us, and even when the worst comes out in the other. 4) Perseverance. I can think of so many examples of the perseverance of Jesus in the face of rejection, frustration, disappointment, and failure: time and again, the disciples failed to understand His teaching, so He patiently explained again; the disciples struggled to comprehend the salvation plan, not knowing what was happening, so He repeated Himself over and over, hoping one day they would understand; the disciples bickered amongst themselves about silly and selfish things, so He gently rebuked them and gave them example after example of truth; the disciples repeatedly failed to have faith, from the first meeting through His resurrection, and still He returned to them and entrusted them with His mission. They betrayed Him. They denied Him. They abandoned Him when He was in the greatest need. Yet, He says, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”(Matthew 28:20). His example says to us, love does not give up. We want to quit whenever it gets hard, but He showed us another path. “Love never fails” (I Corinthians 13:8).
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 23:00:16 +0000
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