We hear about a lot of issues between birth moms and bonus moms - seems sometimes that everyone is in the same boat - but here is an inspiring post from a Bonus-mom with a different situation: I have a question. Does anyone else have a really good relationship with the BM of their step-kids? I feel like I’m the only one. Don’t get me wrong, it didn’t start out that way. DH and I have been married for about 4 ½ years now. At first, the kids would tell me that their mom doesn’t like me. I told them that it was okay if she didn’t like me, and I liked her even if she didn’t like me. I approached the situation with the mentality that if I loved my SS’s, I would love their mother for their sake and it just took off from there. I was raised in a Christian household and men were always taught “If you love your kids, you need to love their mother”. I decided that if I was going to marry my DH, I was going to live by this principle. I listen to her when she has issues (whether they are with the kids or something else going on in her life), I do my best to co-parent households so if the kids are grounded for a week it stays with them no matter where they were at, I work really hard to make sure holidays are shared as fairly as possible. Truly, communication is the key. She even asked me to be the matron of honor at her wedding (seriously, I have a dress). She told me that she wishes she could clone me and send me her other ex that she has 2 sons with. I told her that I took her leftovers once and I wasn’t going to do it again…lol Our boys are 7 & 8 now and know how to “work” the two households, so having great communication really helps knock down some of the shenanigans. Plus I think it helps the kids to see that when I drop them off at their moms, I stay for an hour and talk. That way there’s not so much tension and stress on them that it’s a competition. She even refers to me as their mom and asks for my input before we make important decisions. I know most of you have a BM that is just IMPOSSIBLE and I’m sorry. But does anyone else have a situation like I do?
Posted on: Thu, 25 Sep 2014 21:04:27 +0000
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