Weeks like these last few- with deadlines and managing several projects at once and endless 13 and 16 hour days of code upon code, in language upon language, work issue upon work issue - make me feel like a little like Neo, I begin to see the world very binary, streams of ones and zeros floating past both awake and asleep. My emotions become binary too - on or off... my reactions become extreme; good/bad, entertaining/annoying... I become what my co-workers call (lovingly?) “Robot Vito”. While the build up is stressful and awful, that world has a lot of comfort too - like a wave crashing at its apex there is a point where the stress collapses into the pure serenity of acceptance and release. It simply becomes a “knowing” of answers, the ability to reflexively, instinctively “do” and have that something be “done” right… but then, kids come and screw the whole thing up! They are grey, no right, and no wrong - they are confusion and pride and hurt and paradox and NOT binary and are a jarring, ripping away of the “zen” of Robot Vito… They are the building of a new wave, rising and rising… When will it crest? When will it crash? What will I do when there is no right or wrong? When I’m forced into grey? Accept… Absorb… Flow… Not like a wave, like a river. Follow the path laid before me, bend with the bed, follow the cliff – float – flow – yield - become grey and with that singularity, with the joining of the black and the white find a new oneness from the chaos and ride that wave until it builds to its new height…. And react… Oh – dear diary… :)
Posted on: Tue, 19 Nov 2013 04:12:00 +0000
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