Welcome to Day 16 of LIVE LIFE NOW. Let’s call this one No Regrets As I mentioned in an earlier post I am a workaholic. I have a very hard time being idle. I train teachers all over the world usually traveling on Wednesday or Thursday and ending on Sunday. Travel home Sunday night. Office catch up Monday and Tuesday to then start the wheel turning in the same direction Wednesday to repeat. This is learned behavior from my mother. From as early as I can remember my mom was always working. My mother was a professional nurse, (she loved delivering babies the most), teacher, and mentor to so many. She was also the best mom on the planet. But she always worked. Don’t get me wrong she gave us everything and she was my very best friend. But I yearned for her time and felt slightly cheated that others had her attention more then I did. I just wanted her to be home when I got home from school or for her to be able to take off the same days for vacation. I wanted my mom to myself. I can remember visiting my mom at her work as often as I could just because I missed her so much. “When are you coming home” I would ask. “Soon” she would say. And then another baby would need to be popped out into this world and there was another evening I spent wishing that babies could just birth themselves. I am a very good mom but as I look back I notice that I followed in the exact same footsteps as my mom. In 1991 I won the World Aerobic Championship. Until that time I was both a fitness professional (group exercise instructor to be precise) and stay at home mom. Being a fitness pro allowed me the flexibility to choose hours that worked around my kids schedule. In 1991 Drew was 4 and Chris was 3. All the gyms where I taught also had childcare so that my kids could tag along when I taught or trained for competition. After 1991 however everything changed. I toured with the championship every weekend and I was asked to develop programming for various fitness products where I then presented this programming at fitness conferences. I was gone a lot – too much. My husband and I had the tag team gig down. And he was great at being the weekend fulltime Dad. I would call home on the weekends wanting to talk only to find that they were in an iron chef battle or starring in an epic movie or building a tent village. I was missing out. I was sacrificing precious time with my family. And yet I couldn’t stop. I was building my career. I was bringing home the bacon – okay not that much bacon – but at least some. And I loved the work. I tried very hard to combine both work and family. I would take my kids on as many trips with me as possible. All three boys went all over the country with me to this convention or to that training. It was a major balancing act and it took great planning. And it worked most of the time. I remember after one trip in particular when I went to pick up the kids from a neighbor where Drew hid behind a sofa and wouldn’t come with me. He was a sick and tired 5 year old who had to share his mom. He wanted to punish me for leaving him. My heart was broken. My heart is still broken from that memory. How could I do this to my family. We all make very tough choices. We work to support our careers and our family and yet that work takes us away from our families. We give our time to the world and at the same time deprive those closest to us. I learned through many years from hanging by a thread that you are the culmination of all your parts and those you love benefit from that collection of experience. My children didn’t have me around everyday but everyday that we spent together was worth that day. I could carry only that memory of Drew hiding behind that sofa so many years ago or I can hold near and dear all the times we spent together loving, laughter, and shaping our future. Because both my husband and I worked so hard for 20 years my husband and I have been able to partner in all aspects in work and play. My children are happy and flourishing with many wonderful family memories under their wing. I have no regrets. There are many choices we make that all lead to who we are and where we are going. We wouldn’t be where we are without the choices we have made before today. No regrets. We are who we are because of all that is past. Live Life NOW . No regrets about what is past .
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 02:26:25 +0000
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