Well, I almost made it to fifty without having to take the life of a warm blooded being with my own hands. However today while walking Takoma, a bird almost fell on me out of the sky. It landed at my feet. Shocked, I looked at its neck seemingly twisted backward as it gasping its one eye open wide as it shuttered. All that I saw screamed of suffering and here it lay at my feet. Should I pickup and hold this precious being letting it feel my warm hands as it slipped into the great unknowable? Would that just increase its suffering by adding the fear of being captured by a human? Well, I decided. It did not need to suffer endlessly until heat, accident, or a predator put an end to its life and suffering. So at shy of fifty I wrapped the precious being gingerly in a black plastic bag and twisted its tiny neck and cried like my own heart had been pulled from my chest. So many thoughts now cross my mind, and I doubt myself but at the time it was the only right thing to do. Now I am changed too what? Only time tells those secrets, but a line was crossed. A line I never wanted to cross but for compassions sake I had to cross it and for the love of a being which was suffering I now suffer. Sometimes this life takes us down painful paths and we are forced to live up to the vows we have taken not fully understanding the cost they will extract from us like the bodhisattva vow I took so many years ago. May suffering end and all beings be at pease.
Posted on: Thu, 04 Jul 2013 13:35:19 +0000