Well, I fell down again this morning. Coming out of the restaurant and after two cups of coffee, no less. My phone has decided that its just not going to cooperate with me at all. No more phone. The UNIVERSE has decided when and whos calls/texts I will receive or make/take. This little girl is tired. I am so overwhelmed with so many things going on at once. My day job, the shop, my family, the bills, the orders. Anything I do socially is most times at the boutique cause its the only way I can get to see my family and friends these days. I have let a lot of very understanding and patient people down, because of my ridiculous schedule - its not even funny. I fall to sleep on movie nights with my baby girl. I have missed most of my friends birthdays and special events. With very few exceptions, and only because they are okay with me being super, duper late. OR - like our last YA YA night - I rescheduled EVERYONES birthdays and we celebrated on one night that was good for me, which started at the boutigue and ended on a HIGH NOTE! Thats love...when your friends move their birthday celebrations around for you, so that you can attend. ha... I suck. I have done my absolute best to make time for a date night here and there. Also - to make time for cookie baking night with my grand babies; whom have resorted to hiding from Deanna to sneak phone calls to me behind her back asking me to come get them or asking me if they can come over. MUST HAVE COOKIE NIGHT with my babies. Opening the store before Christmas, good for business and for people to know where we are and what we are doing...not so good for my personal life at home. Lucky for me I have an amazing support group there and they know once I sit on that couch - Im OUT like a light. They have been amazing and pick up all my slack. My parents, children and sisters ROCK. I cant please everyone all of the time, and manage to piss people off quite often because I am normally pretty good about saying , ENOUGH! Here lately though, its been about everyone else. Im stressed; which is the one thing I said I would not do with this boutique. People ask me how its going, and my go to response is, DONT ASK. I am so good about re-focusing. Shifting my attention to the positive and playing down the negative, or ignore it all together so Id rather not talk about the things that arent going so well and talk about the things that are going RIGHT. Count my blessings and dismiss the Debbie downers. Sometimes though, its hard to shake that feeling of weight around your ankles and people trying to bring you down. Two steps forward...three steps back. I havent lasted this long running stuff on my own because I am weak. I am strong. I am smart. I have more energy that the average person. I also have my good health and beautiful support system. I am juggling 500 things at once. Take on less, people say. When there is just ONE you. You do what you can, when you can and say SCREW IT when you CANT and move on. Today - I will focus on all of my blessings. Dismiss and reject all of the negative. Be happy, because happy is what I choose to be and move FORWARD FULL SPEED AHEAD. You cant stop a HIGH SPEED FREIGHT TRAIN baby (unless of course, you are Denzel Washington, whom btw I am happy to stand still for). Be safe out there. Its wet. Lets see if I can make it through the rest of the day without busting my ass again.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Dec 2014 16:33:00 +0000