Well, I found out today Ive been put into FULL HOSPICE. Had thought I was still in the Transitions Program. But I was incorrect! So excuse me if Im a BIT emotional the next few days!! I certainly dont feel that sick. I mean I know my health has dropped. But Im always telling myself itll pass. But to hear from the Social worker today that I actually have made it to the Full HOSPICE side caught me off guard. I guess its gonna happen,I just didnt think itd be this quick. Ya know... Anyhow, forgive me if Im quiet for a BIT. Its unexpected n hard to swallow. The weird part is the HOSPICE team keeps asking why dont you have anyone helping you? My only response is...cause I dont have anyone who can! I mean that anyone I speak with is not anywhere close. We arent allowed to have overnite guests except 16 days every 6 months. Plus I cant stand the thought IM AT THAT POINT YET! Its just not registering right in this ole head of mine. I know my blood levels are serious but its been this way for awhile so Im DESENSITIZED over it. Im so used to it It dont phase me. But to hear the lady talk today.... Im having to step back a BIT and RETHINK THIS OUT! I AM DETERMINED TO BE HERE FOR MY SON. HIS FREEDOM DATE IS NOV. 27, 2015. ITS JUST 2YRS. AWAY. I GOTTA BE HERE TO HELP HIM. I JUST GOTTA! I CANT DISAPPOINT MY SON... I JUST CANT! THERES EVERYONE ELSE HAS LIED TO HIM, WALKED AWAY FROM HIM OR JUST STOPPED TALKING TO HIM. I JUST CANT GIVE IN. I REFUSE TO LET MYSELF JUST UP N DIE. IM HARD HEADED INDEED. PLEASE... IF YOU TRULY CARE ABOUT EITHER OF US... PLEASE JUST SEND UP A COUPLE OF PRAYERS PLEASE... N ASK GOD TO KEEP ME HERE TIL MY SONS OK N FREE?? THANKS.
Posted on: Wed, 20 Nov 2013 21:39:49 +0000
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