Well I was at a McDonalds counter at lunch time, no I am not proud of the fact, but I was on the motorway and I was starving. It was either that or a Ginsters Slug and Cat Litter sandwich which was £87.14. They were very busy and getting a little backed up with the orders but the staff were working flat out and apologetic for the odd delay. The bloke in front of me was handed his order and the young lady serving him said’ Here is your vegetable wrap, I am very sorry to have kept you waiting’ what’s more she actually seemed to mean that she was. She smiled at the guy who snatched it out of her hand without a word of thanks and stormed off. About 30 seconds later, three things entered my field of vision from the left. In order these were a vegetable wrap which went flying through the air, slid across the counter until it was arrested by hitting a till. The second was a belly, shortly followed by a beard. Two thoughts went through my head at this point, the first being ‘ It’s a good job that was not a Ginsters pasty, it would have gone through the till and killed someone’ the second was ‘ I don’t think that this chap is very happy’ ( I am quite astute some days ) The owner of the belly and the beard saw me looking at him and treated me to a very smug smile. I am sure that this smile was meant to convey the message ‘Yes I did just throw that, I am not a man to be trifled with’ which was odd as there was no way he was a stranger to trifle, in fact I am sure I could see some in the beard that he must have been saving for later. However, the message he actually managed to convey was ‘I am a fat beardy tosser (for brevity FBT) and I am about to pick on someone who is a quarter of my weight, half my age and has twice my IQ. I am going to do this to make up for my many shortcomings although they are too many to list’ The following conversation ensued: FBT ‘I did not order this, it’s meant to be chicken’ McDonalds staff ‘That is the vegetable wrap that you asked for’ FBT ‘I asked for the wrap of the day, which is chicken’ McDonalds staff ‘The wrap of the day is vegetable’ FBT ‘The wrap of the day today is chicken’ McDonalds staff ‘No I am sorry it’s vegetable today’ FBT’ If you can actually read your own poster, it says it’s chicken on Monday and Wednesday’ McDonalds staff ( very calmly and still smiling , which is a huge credit to her) ‘ You are quite right, it is chicken on Monday and Wednesday’ ( at this point there was a small pause the timing of which was sublime) ‘ But today is Tuesday so it’s vegetable’ Now I have no idea how to begin to spell the noise that emanated from FBT at this point, however I am happy to report it was EXACTLY the same noise as our cat made last week when the vet shoved a thermometer up her bum. He then grabbed his vegetable wrap and fled as fast as his little hairy legs (he was wearing shorts) could carry him. All credit to the McDonalds staff, none of them laughed until he had gone, I am afraid my self-control was not as good, I had been collapsed against the counter helpless for quite some time.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 17:25:16 +0000
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