Well Im heading to bed but before I do, I want to just take a moment to reflect on my life. Every year, around this time, I self reflect on where I am as a person, in my career, life in general. Why? Because 14 years ago today I made a decision that changed my life forever. I chose to walk down the aisle and pledge my life to a man I thought would love me for myself, forever. Unfortunately, I was wrong and what transpired after was a series of emotions, events and learned lessons. From the heart break, dark depression, self loathing and bitterness, I became stronger. I survived. So every year I look back at my life and ask myself if I can be better than before. How can I be a better person? And though my life is not perfect and I struggle paying all the bills, I have to say that Im pretty happy. I love my job (except Call days) and my business. I love my boyfriend who sone how still manages to make me feel like Im 22 again, who still loves me (most days) after 4 years. I love my life even with the trials and tribulations. And Im reminded today that last year, as I sat in my car while visiting Spokane to watch the USA Boxing nationals, I learned that my dear friend, Mo had been murdered. And every day when Im hitting mitts or contemplating strategy, I think of my friends who helped me along the way, in this ridiculous sport I love. Lucas, Mo, Carlos. And I realize how very blessed I am. If not for the heart aches and dark depression, hitting the absolute bottom, I would not be me. I would still be that weak naive young woman afraid of taking risks and living. Those darkest of days when I believed this life had nothing left for me in it, taught me strength I never knew I possessed. Im grateful for all my friends and family that stood by me during those times when I was unwilling. Now, I do my best to return that patience and understanding to others. To help them focus on the positives and not allow the darkness to overwhelm them. Life is a gift every day. We are not promised tomorrow. Live your life fully with love, happiness and fearlessness. Another year of self reflection and I like who I am staring back at me. I hope you are able to do the same. If not, take action and make those changes. Only I am responsible for my own happiness. No one else. - Hope
Posted on: Tue, 08 Apr 2014 09:13:16 +0000
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