Well, Ive been dreading posting this, but I guess enough people know already, so I might as well come out with it. The move to Pittsburgh was a tremendous disaster. I was panicked when I was dropped off at the train station. Panic turned into sickness, sickness turned into depression, depression turned to suicidal thoughts...which, as we all know, leads to the dark side. It kept getting worse and worse until I had a full emotional meltdown, and I couldnt stop crying for four hours straight. I was also hearing voices in the room that werent there when I was falling asleep and waking up, which means I was stressed beyond capacity. When I realized I was having suicidal thoughts, I immediately realized I had to go back home. Im in Philly right now, and Im feeling better. I was able to eat almost a full meal for the first time since I left. So, Im sure some of you are disappointed or even a little upset at me, but when suicide comes into the equation, you cant mess around anymore. I dont feel entirely like a failure. I did something pretty crazy on a whim, and went to a strange place with people who I didnt know for the most part. Thats something I couldnt have done a few years ago. For that Im proud of myself. I wish it wouldve gone much better, but thats life.
Posted on: Sat, 04 Oct 2014 20:13:57 +0000