Well Marty and I just got home from Mackenzie and Adams. We were there 8 days helping them get moved in their new home and trying to help them get settled in. We had a good week with both of them and the only thing missing was Madison and Brooke. You would think that after Mackenzie being moved away for 4 years that it would get easier, but it still hurts just as bad when we say goodbye and come back home, its as if weve left part of us there. So once we got home that old familiar lonely feeling hit us like a ton of bricks and the tears started flowing and continued flowing all night. Without Mackenzie and Madison here, it just doesnt feel like home anymore. This shell we live in now is so quite and so lonely. When does it go away? Everyone we talk to says well get used to it, but most of them still have their children right next door to them or a few miles down the road. We both know that neither one of them will be back here to live and that almost makes it unbearable. As soon as Madison left, we put our house up for sale, thinking if we could only get closer to the two of them, wed be ok, but that isnt the answer. For 25 years our lives have totally been wrapped around these two, in every way. We were never prepared for the day that both of them would no longer be here with us. Are we crazy? Is there anybody else out there going through what we are going through? So far it isnt getting any easier. I hurt so bad for Marty because there are times, the smile that I once saw in his eyes have been replaced with tears. We both have good days and then well both just break down and cry for no apparent reason, and when one starts the other one follows. We have suddenly come to terms that each other is all we have, and Im so glad I have him, because I have never needed him more than I do right now and Im pretty sure the feeling is mutual. We, like many of you never spent much time as husband and wife, but was so anxious to become parents, so after being married for 1 year and 5 months, suddenly 2 of us became 3 and 5 years later 3 became 4 and I guess thats how we thought it would stay. WRONG ANSWER! Before we knew it, days turned into months and months turned into years and now they are grown up and we are growing old. Where did it go? It is not comprehensible, how does it go so fast and you cant remember any of it. I remember when we were so busy juggling cheerleading and volleyball games around football and baseball games and it was hard just to catch your breath, and there were so many times, I would say, gosh, what I wouldnt give for a break. As I made that statement one day around my Uncle Bill, my uncle looked at me and said with a tear in his eye, I know you dont realize it now, but these are the best days of your life and you dont even know it. At that very moment, I said you mean it dont get better than this? God how true were his words. And Sweet Jesus what I wouldnt give to live them over just one more time. However, Im so thankful for the time we were given with them. So just a little advice for you parents that still have those little ones under your feet, those long night ball games, that made you spending the rest of the night getting homework done, while trying to get that muddy uniform cleaned and trying to get those school clothes ironed, your work clothes ironed and those lunches fixed for the next day and you pulling your hair out because you just dont know how you can do just one more thing without losing your mind, do yourself a big favor before its to late and wrap your arms around them, thank God for those busy times, those dirty hand prints all over your windows and coffee tables, those last minute science projects you were told were due at 9:00 the night before when everything was closed to get the supplies you needed. The sleepless nights when you lay awake because Suzie said something that hurt your babies feeling, or those tears you shed because Little Johnny got his heart broke by that little no good two timing little blah blah blah did your baby wrong, or all the times you wonder how many extra hours your going to have to work, just to by that new pair of designer jeans for your baby girl, because all the other girls just got them, just stop and savor every second, because before you know it, they too will be grown and moving on with their lives while you sit crying and wishing you enjoyed all those little moments that seemed like they had no end. Hold them a little tighter, talk to them a little longer and know that one day you will have all the time in the world for a little me time, because in the blink of an eye, they will grow up, move on and you will have all the me time you ever bargained for. And try and I dont know what preparations to tell you to take, but try to prepare yourself for the day this happens. And to Mackenzie and Madison who think your momma and daddy have gone crazy, one day you both will know why your crazy parents seem old and senile. LOL Please keep me and Marty and all the other parents that are going thru this empty nest syndrome to learn to deal with it and FAST. Thanks to all of my fb friends who always listen to me and pray for us.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 05:49:16 +0000
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