Well Tacoma has made it so far and from what I can see and she looks pretty comfortable so far (so I must be doing something right hopefully). So the weekend begins... Her last weekend that I was praying she would get to have one last time but now I sit here lost not knowing what would the best last weekend entail? Shes not eating a whole lot due to the tumour obstruction of the bowel... So a BIG delicious breakfast as I would of liked to give her is probably not going to be what she wants (but Im still going to try)... She LOVES long walks but with the tumour in her spleen that could rupture at anytime I have to limit her because if it ruptures she will be gone in minutes, so Im battling with my heart on whats a good decision to make ... Im so torn. She LOVES long car rides... So we are going to try to do that for her especially all day tomorrow... But shes started yesterday bringing up whatever she has in her tummy (which is not a lot) so I guess we go as far as we can. She is mommas BIG cuddle bunny... And so far thats all we have been really able to do that hasnt caused anything to happen or potentially happen... I would do that for next whatever days we have left, BUT I dont know if that will be a fitting last weekend that she so deserves. To some people they think being this emotional and this determined to make this weekend great for her is silly or selfish... But for me its not. I dont have kids and my world revolves around my babies... My dogs as some of theirs would be around their kids. Saying goodbye or until we meet again would be hard for a lot of people in any situation when its forced. My dogs have carried me through some rough times and there to share in all the good things that come our way so in the end they are all my little family unit. Anyone that knows me well knows that I am completely heartbroken because my dogs are my world, my joy, my best friends and the ones who have been there to lick away the tears, wake me in the morning, protected me... And really just walk beside me on the journey I call my life. To lose one along this bumpy road really impacts me... But to lose two babies back to back (year and 2 weeks to the day) has left be completely heart broken especially to have only days with one of them left which was a total shock to the system. And the hardest part is Im the one that must make the decisions... And hope and pray I am doing whats best in the end and that she knows that I love her more than words could ever describe! Im not trying to be selfish Im just fighting for her to have what she deserves and a great weekend is all I have left to give her. She appears big and vicious... But really she is just the biggest cuddly bear ever coming with loads of kisses and thinks shes a tiny lap dog and shes very protective of her momma... The things that I will always treasure but also miss more than anything! ❤️ Prayers for a great weekend and that she stays comfortable to enjoy it! ❤️ Love you Tacoma... ❤️xoxoxo Dogs Never Die Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk. It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place. However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot. When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.” When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.) Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer. But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are. I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.
Posted on: Sat, 19 Jul 2014 12:29:17 +0000
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