Well. Yesterday, I accidentally bought a ballgown, quite deliberately bought a hideous clock that I somehow failed to realise was hideous, ducked out of a burlesque show early because my eye was giving me gyp and I still cant quite bring myself to wear an eyepatch in public even though Im technically supposed to sometimes, got home to find that the cat had vommed everywhere (thank you so much Zen and Alisia for dealing with the worst of it before I got in) and then the kitchen flooded big time and I spent half the night bailing out. The clock was delivered today, and its rubbishness suddenly hit me in its full glory all at once. Having spent rather a lot more on it than I now realise it is worth, I gazed upon it in horror. Whose eyes had I been looking at it with the day before? I had let the mere fact that it was a grandmother clock blind me entirely to the much more important facts that it is largely constructed of veneered chipboard and plastic. I was aware that it was battery-operated and that the pendulum served no real purpose. In fact, deep down, I believe that I knew it was utter crap from the very beginning. But I had wanted a grandmother clock since I was five, and it was with this in mind that my very understanding husband told me to dip into the joint account and buy it. In a moment of panic, picturing the face that Karl would make when he came down and saw what Id bought, I toyed with the idea of pretending that I LOVED it, so that he would feel sorry for me and forgive my dreadful lapse of judgement. That would have been naughty and manipulative though. Besides, Id have had to pretend I loved it for EVER. So instead I crept upstairs to forewarn him that the awesome clock wed jigged furniture around for was, in fact, bollocks. When he saw it, he was mystified as to how I could possibly have thought it was any good, or even at all attractive. I was no less mystified, I can tell you. I can only conclude that I had been looking at it with my dodgy eye through a prism of romanticism. So, does anyone here have crap taste and poor eyesight and want to buy a grandmother clock for £70? It takes one AA battery.
Posted on: Sat, 26 Apr 2014 22:23:44 +0000
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