Well,here is this disgusting story that I know you will want to hear. As Ive gotten older, my stomach is getting weaker and weaker. Not flater, weaker. The weirdest things will make me yack. If I hear these words ( gagging as I typed them) BOOGER, TURD, MOIST, DESIRE, THE SOUND OF SOMEBODY DRINKING, THE SOUND OF SOMEBODY CHEWING GUM, NIPPLE, SHOPPING CART NOISE, PENIS, BLAH BLAH BLAH. I know its weird but I hate hate hate those words and sounds. Anyway, the one person who will relate to this is my dear little niece Sarah Lauren Witty. When she was little, and I mean around 18 months up to around 8? 9? still to this day? maybe. Anyhoo, she could puke on a dime. For some reason, this doesnt bother me, I think its hilarious. I used to watch Wild Boys with Alex and Steve-O was always hurling. I would laugh till I peed myself. We noticed this when she saw a smashed pea on her place mat. BARF!!!!!!!!! She saw a crumb of cheese stuck to Brittanys check. PUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One morning, she walked into the kitchen at the exact moment my mother was burping some deviled eggs in a Tupperware carrier ( truly a foul odor ) she halted, sniffed and threw up all over the floor. My mom was yelling OH SARAH ITS JUST DEVILED EGGS MY LORD ILL BE GLAD WHEN YOU GROW OUT OF THIS. The devil in me would bring me over whenever Sarah was eating. She would look warily at me as I sat down with her at the table ( I had done it before ). Hey sweetie. Is that good? Are you a big girl eating squash? And beets? Oh, look, Alex is chewing with his mouth open! Look at all that squished up , oh Sarah, honey! Whats wrong?? MOM! You know what else, that meat reminds me of dog ears, oh now what?????????? Mom, get the mop! She would be furious with me and I dont know how many times threatened to make me clean it up. Shes 26 now and I just wonder after 4 kids, if shes gotten any toughter? Look, there. I dropped some corn on the floor... Sarah, cmere and look at this!!
Posted on: Tue, 13 Jan 2015 19:59:08 +0000