Well its now 12:45 am, Im sitting upright in my bed trying to get tired enough to sleep, although Ive done a days work, and should be exhausted, but no far from it, Ive unravelled a ball of wool, Ive crocheted about 2 rows onto my work in progress, the doctors tell me it will get better when the medication sets in, these doctors are psychiatrists, that dish out the pills and say things like well try this one and see how it goes. Manic they say, your just still manic, we just need to level you out, how many nights I have sat upright in my bed, with their words running through my head, NO CURE Just management of disease is the best I can hope for, Stephen Fry is also a sufferer of Bi-polar, he says he wouldnt swap it for the world, he loves the manic stages of this debilitating disease, Im sorry I dont find anything nice about being on a high and than hitting an all time low Where suicide is foremost in my thoughts, if only I could talk myself out of it like my friends keep telling me, think happy thoughts they say, look at everything you have they say, you are so lucky, people with a mental disorder have much the same problem as people that have a broken back, you cant see it, but by gee its there, and it sure does hurt, sometimes I wish I could bandage my head so people would understand why Im so quiet, why Im so nasty, why do I keep crying, and why dont I want to leave the house, and why dont I answer the phone and why do I want to leave this world sometimes, and the list goes on. So for every 5 people that pass you in the street , One of them has a mental disorder of some kind, so have a thought about these people who could do with just a smile from you, because it can make all the difference. I dont speak about my disorder often, but I am hoping that it may bring some education to the people out there that seem to think we are lunatics !!! far from it, being Mental Awareness week please spare a thought for the people out there who are a little less fortunate than yourself, there are many, many, more people out there that are far worse than a mental patient, so lets have a SMILE FOR EVERYONE..... God Bless .....
Posted on: Sat, 24 May 2014 15:22:49 +0000
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