Well posting on here is getting kind of pointless. Its like trying to get someone who has a polar opposite opinion on politics, religion, or sports etc. to respect the way you think about whatever youre talking about. When the only way that would happen is if they looked at your opinion as an opinion & not a lie & their own opinion as an opinion & not the truth. And I dont see that happening anytime soon. Its unfortunate that a lot of times people dont know what a best guess or a theory, or even a rash judgment or gossip is. Instead they throw out words like fact & absolute truth just to make themselves sound more important I guess. I think theyre kidding themselves. But its unfortunate that people are like that. In some ways its probably a good thing that there are many people here that think all he does is lie on his facebook page. I dont get in trouble for lying I get in trouble for expressing what Im going through too much to people who dont understand me, misinterpret me & then spread the misinterpretations. Lol.. Im not sure when Im going to learn that the people here are never going to understand me. They wont allow themselves to think like me in a way for them to understand me. And Im not too keen about seeing things the way they do either. As its like a what? what? Thats just what happens when youve got people living in the same place who cant agree or see eye to eye on anything. Luckily for me my Dad has at least allowed me to start looking for other possible destinations that hopefully we can live in. I dont have the money to move by myself into a decent situation with people I trust. And I didnt think my parents could move either as they told me as much. I don’t like when they tell me things & that’s not the way they end up being. But evidently they werent as forthcoming about the situation as I thought they were or things might not be quite as bad as they told me it was. It wouldnt be the first time theyve done that by the way. Obviously their financial situation is bad, but it seems that my Dad is questioning whether he wants to live here for the rest of his life like I am. Except for me its been more of a feeling that I don’t belong here ever since I’ve reached the age of majority for the most part. I wonder if anyone knows what it’s like to live in a place where you feel like you don’t belong to the point that you feel like someone made a mistake bringing you here. And feel that way for 3 decades. But it’s not a joyous experience. While I think it might be possible to get my Dad to at least look at some other possible locations that we could possibly live in. I don’t think I’ll be able to convince my Mom to go. And I’m not going to be able to get them to go without both of them wanting to go. And I’m not going to have them thinking differently in a way that could possibly lead to a divorce. So if my Mom wants to stay then we’ll stay. I know she tries to come home & do what she can to keep us happy here. But living here doesn’t consist of spending time with her all of the time. If she’d be open to the idea of us moving at some point I hope she’ll let us know. Life is full of stories where people had a bad time at one place & then were able to go somewhere else & that played a role in them finding what they wanted to do in life or who they ended up sharing most if not all of their days with. She’s got 2 happy children. What’s wrong with being open to doing something that could possibly help the 3rd one. She should know it’s not right what the people here have done to me here. And I think she does. She’s only lived outside of the bible belt a few times. And one of those times was when she was pregnant with me. At this point I’ll go where ever they’re willing to go. But I know I don’t belong here. Little to anyone wants me here. I didnt take my first steps here. And I feel like I deserve to be happy as much as anyone does. I do my best to get by & get through the days. And I wouldn’t be living here at all if I didn’t like it in doors at all. It’s just when I walk outside that door that’s unfortunately been the problem. Peaceful moments are few & far between these days. Someone who likes the outdoors shouldn’t feel like they can’t go anywhere. That’s not really right. But I’ve found it’s never about what’s right here. I’ve kind of gone beyond the point of thinking things will change here. Maybe things might blow over some day & their stupidity & rash judgments of me will subside. But it’s not all that promising. If there was ever any purpose for me existing it certainly wasn’t for what’s happened here. At least I don’t think anyone would be that thoughtless on a theistic level. And there’s me thinking that my life was supposed to mean something worth while & that some benevolent being should care. Maybe “he”, she, it does who knows.
Posted on: Mon, 10 Mar 2014 00:20:45 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015